Oct 26, 2010

How to screw up a first date.

I was having my usual teh tarik session with Lilliane when we came across the topic of dates. It was just a random topic and I told her my first date strategy. Please note that I have not hit on a girl in three long years, the last time was when I was 19 years old so my strategies can be a bit.....what's the word...lame.

Sal's first date strategy:
1. Magic tricks.
2. Fancy restaurant.
3. SUIT UP! okay not suit up per se but wear smart clothing, shoes etc.
4. Try to sound cool.
5. Be Barney Stinson.

Lil's comment on Sal's first date strategy:
2. Bring girl in question to some place casual with a relaxed environment.
3. SUIT DOWN- You don't wanna look like you're trying too hard.
4. Don't try to sound cool. - You will instead sound like a complete retard.
6. Be Ted Mosbey instead.

So after a long and thoughtful discussion, we said our goodnights. On my way home, while listening to John Mayer's A love song for no one, I thought long and hard about what needs to be done on a first date. It's not like I have someone to go on a first date with right now but what if one day, the time finally comes for me to go out on a first date with a girl.

What should I do?

My 5 first date strategies will do nothing but screw up my first date. It's 5 ways to screw up a first date.

I thought about my first date strategies, all the five seemed so right when I thought of them in my head but when I verbally laid it out to Lil, she wasn't very impressed. In all honesty, neither was I. My First Date strategy was nothing but L.A.M.E.

When I reached home to the sound of Eminem's Beautiful, I thought to myself and sighed a sigh of contempt and told myself, "Dude, just be yourself. You want a girl to like you because of who you are, not what you plan to be"

So if you like trash metal bands, bring a girl to a trash metal gig. If you like farting in front of people, don't be a fucking idiot and fart in front of her. Respect the girl, be true to you and above all else, be sincere with all your heart.

Unlike most guys who simply cannot see past the mid-chest section of girls, a girl see's past the eyes, into the soul. You don't need to be Barney Stinson or Ted Moseby, you just need to be *insert own name here*.

If you are sincere, she'll see past all your lameness. If you just want to get laid and she accepts, than say hello to STDs.

HIV bukan untuk diwarisi, jalanilah saringan HIV di klinik atau hosptal kerajaan berdekatan, Salam 1Malaysia -.-" <-- lame.haha.


  1. as a girl, i agree on your friend's do-list.

    be like Ted Mosbey instead.

    er..sorry faisal, magic tricks? are you really really sure? LOL. just kidding.

    first impression is good but its non-lasting, so why impress her so much when in the end, you will end up showing ur true self later on, right. :)

  2. hellooooo! i'm your silent reader (i found your blog through blog-hopping). i really like your writings. whenever i read them i can feel that they truly come from your heart. kagum gile weh!(i still find it hard to express myself in writings)you have your own unique style so yeah, i really admire you :)

  3. if anyone ever does magic trick on my first date, ill be sure to magically disappear. haha..

    but again, this all applies ad hoc, case to case basis.

    1. magic tricks..

    for example ur walking down a lane, and u stop and say " hey, there's something in ur hair" and pull out a big bouquet of roses.

    and u whisper in her ears, for u.. seriously, ill go gugu gaga.. ill go back call all my BFF's and say... "LOOK BITCHES, MY DATE WAS A HOT MAGICIAN!!"

    plus, dont every girl wanna date David Blaine.?

    2.fancy restaurant is the right place to go.. and since when it cannot be fancy and relaxed?

    when people say fancy it doesnt mean fine dining. but a proper place. like a fancy or cool cafe that serves coffee for more thn rm 5. haha.

    by fancy it means NOT MAMAK!

    3. dress up.. i agree with u that not per se putting on a tux. but it would be nice if u wear shoes or sandals instead of flip flops.

    i mean you are taking her to a fancy place, and its the last thing that u want is to embarrass ur date by looking sloppy at a nice place.

    i know that you should be urself. but show the best of you and not the worst. u want to keep her interested.

    4. sound cool is stupid. sound modest and humble. yet sound protective. that's what a girl wants from a man. an assurance that they'll be alright.

    unless, u are dating a kick boxing chick. dun try to protect her.

    5. dun try to be Ted Mosby or Barney Stinson. they are fictional characters. make it real dude. be Faisal. coz i am sure he is worthy of a million girl.

    intan gave a female perspective, i gave my "guy" perspective. haha.

  4. ruzzzzana: haha, tu la magic tricksss tenggg -.-" haha. yeah, all i need to do is be myself, because at the end of the day the fake facade will go away leaving behind only nothing but the truth :)

    nsha: awwww, tht really means a lot to me :) thnk you from the very bottom of my heart hehe. thnk you so much for reading nsha =) i really appreciate it =)

    naz:hahaha,dude, thnks so much for the tips :) im gonna use each and every. you really gave me a different perspective and i could not agree more with a lot of your points. i guess i need to get myself a nice pair of sandals, and by a nice pair of sandals i think we can all rule out crocs.haha. and thnk you for giving words of encouragement, especially the worthy of a million girls part, it gives me strength and also confidence. thnks again naz, you rock man! or referring to your comment should i say "man"? haha.kidding bro =)

  5. magic tricks........ ??

    r u serious......

    jalam abdiah wouldn't do tht to impress azura

  6. yes put....serious..........see..howw....clueless...i..ammm..in my head magic tricks on a first date are really cool tau hahaha.guess i was wrong -.-"

  7. whatever it is dont be the u when u r with me...
    surefire way to scare a gurl..

    n jgn try ckp dgn suare balik dr gym...(=_=")

  8. ouh sal!satu lagi do!ko kene beli patung itik jalan terkedek2..if u still remember..kalo x ingat tanye mat or buu..its one of the "ways" kitorang tgk kt movie aritu-sorry lupa tajuk dia..hahaha