Apr 19, 2011

How Malay bros shake hands.

This entry is not specifically limited to Malay bros only but as I am Malay, I write from what I see based on who I hang out with. As my friends are mostly Malays, this is how I see Malay bros shake hands.

1. The normal handshake.
- Used when greeting normal friends or acquittance.
- Strictly formal. You know that you are not considered a bro to a person if your hands are shook in this manner.

2. The normal+spin+calit ibu jari handshake.
- Used when greeting 3rd level bros.
- This may also be used to quickly forge a close caring relationship between one bro and another bro who are not that close. A bro will see your act of calit ibu jari as a sign that you want to take your relationship to the next level.

3. The normal+spin+calit ibu jari+pull hands while each others palm are touching together+knuckle knock handshake.
- Used when greeting 2nd level bros.

4. The normal+spin+pulling each other closer and rub chest against  one another handshake.
- Used when greeting 1st level bros.
-This can also be used to thank level 2 and level 3 bros for any act of kindness that these bros may have done for me.

5. The normal+spin+pulling each other closer+gently rub each other's cheeks against one another handshake.
- When a bro performs this kind of handshake to a girl, it is considered normal and shows a certain level of closeness between the said bro and the girl. However if a bro does this to another bro....
- Then the bro who did this is a very gay bro and is considered as such.
- Also used by any and every middle-eastern guys. *special mention: Straight Bangladeshi guys hold hands while walking.

Apr 13, 2011

How to achieve your dreams.

I am 23 years old this year. I feel old. When I was 21, I felt I was at the pinnacle of my youth. When I was 22, I told myself, "22 is not that far away from 21, you're still young". In 3 months time I'll be 23. Whats in my head you ask? Well...nothing really..its just that I AM GETTING OLD!!!! And I just realized, I have accomplished ZILCH dreams.

1. Form a band. be bigger than The Beatles (Ah..young positivism)
2. 6 packs.
3. Find love of life
4. Learn to be good at playing football
5. Yes...this is a big one...ACT. I have always been a big fan of acting. I used to act in lame-as-hell/god-awful plays when I was in primary school. Loved it. Never had the confidence to pursue it. I am not good-looking.

How to achieve dreams 1 to 5
1. Never gonna happen
2. Never gonna happen
3. <3 Fiona
4.Never gonna happen (Although I am the manager of a football team)

How to really achieve dreams
Its 6.50pm. Its raining outside. My surroundings cannot BE more stressful. As I am typing this my left hand is reaching for my guitar to achieve #1, after that I'll be doing sit-ups to achieve #2, #3 done, #4....perhaps I can play a little football with my boys in the evening. For #5...hahaha.Perhaps one day :) I could have done all this when I was still 19 years old. BUT I DID NOT. I procrastinated and was generally very lazy. I talked a lot but never did anything to realize my dreams. Now I'm 23. I realized although I am still very young, time is running out. So if anyone reads this and has yet to achieve a dream or two, straighten the fuck up, stand tall, go chase whatever it is you want to chase. Start now, seize the moment, be the man, let them balls roam freely and show the fucking world what you're made of :) GOODLUCK!

Apr 10, 2011

The perks of being a lawyer.

Here I am. Stuck at being a law student. I suck at being a law student.Why do you suck at being a law student you may ask. Simple. Because it is B.O.R.I.N.G. Okay, personal rantings aside, when I really think about it, being a lawyer CAN be interesting. Not WILL, not IT IS GOING TO but CAN be interesting. Heres why:

1. You get to wear smart clothing, look sharp and buy expensive suits. This is vital so that A: You wont commit contempt of court B: Clients trust you. Looking like failed person in life wont get you many clients. Zegna suits, here I come :)

2. You get to use bombastic words to explain the simplest of things. This will mean that you will always sound smart. Go to McDoonalds, you order a Big Mack but the numbskull behind the counter gives you a McChicky. You eat the burger anyways but soon you develop an allergy. You call the owner and threaten him with a lawsuit. "You sir, as a superior towards your subordinates, are vicariously responsible towards the actions of your subordinates" Vicariously. Fuyooo =.="

3. You get to dramatize your life..and look cool Dylan Mcdermott style. Picture this. You're at a wedding. You're eating. Suddenly your phone rings. You pick up the call. You number 2 (refer to point number 2) your friggin ass off. Everyone at the table looks at you in sheer suspense. You get up, wipe your face and say oh so dramatically: "I have to save someone from the death penalty. I believe he's innocent". You say this with so much tension and drama in your face  that you make the people around you feel constipated. You get up and rush towards your car, face all tensed. Drama.

4. You get to have the words" *Name goes here* Advocate and Solicitor, High Court of Malaya" on your name card. That in itself is friggin cool.

For me personally, the best part of being a lawyer is to able to make a difference in someone's life. Doctors call themselves healers. They call themselves life savers. I honestly believe that they have the right to claim all that because in all honesty, thats what they do. How about lawyers. What can we call ourselves? Are we healers? Are we life savers?

We may not be healers or lifesavers but believe me, we can make a difference in someone's life. Maybe in the future I'll help prevent an innocent man from being hanged for a crime he didn't commit. If something like that ever happens, I will know that I gave a woman another chance to call someone her husband, a mother and father another chance to call someone their son and a few kids another chance to call someone their father.

If that day ever comes, I will smile and think to myself: Law School is shit. But I'll be glad to be swimming in chest high shit if it meant that I'll have the chance to make a difference.