Nov 23, 2009

2 guys. 2 adam's apple. and a pair of breasts.

So there I was in KLCC. In Isetan to be exact. I was looking for some work pants when I saw this exceedingly hot female walking in front of me. She was holding hands with a scrawny "Blink and the wind generated might blow me away" looking guy.

No offence to the guy but his looks....don't jive with the fact that he's holding hands with a Megan Fox body double. In my head I was thinking, Love knows no boundaries. Maybe she's just a hot girl who has been lied to, cheated at, taken advantage of by a list of playboys aka jerks. Maybe now she doesn't care about looks. Maybe now she just wants a guy with a good heart. A guy that loves her for what's inside.

Beautiful right? Wrong. A few minutes later I found out the reason why the Megan Fox body double was holding hands with a scrawny dude with an overbite so severe, he could win 100 meter sprints by just opening his mouth. Here's the reason why.


The Megan Fox Body double report card:


                              Marks:      Remarks:
1. Model-like body.             10        HOT
2. Womanly Curves.              9.5       HOT
3. Toned thighs.                9.5       HOT
4. Toned arms.                  9.5       HOT
5. Long, silky hair.            10        HOT
6. Has a penis.                 ???!!!    ??!!!


Comments:
??????!!!


Further comments:
The Megan Fox body double probably has a penis since she is actually a he who has transformed herhimself into a she. She looks like a she, walks like a she, dresses like a she but most probably pees standing up. So that's why she's holding hands with the scrawny dude. No good-looking guy in the right state of mind would ever, ever go on a date with a dude, let alone hold hands with one.


It is their choice to be whatever they want. It's their choice to be with whoever they want. It's their right to be happy . It's their life. I and a few hundred people at Isetan on that fateful day don't mean to stare or pass judgement. I mean who am I to judge people right?

But it's so hard not to stare at a dude with C-cup breasts. 



Nov 16, 2009

Soul piercing compositions.

Songs. They make us laugh, they make us smile. They inspire us, they make us feel strong. They also make us cry, make us feel weak. It's 2.39am in the morning and I'm still awake. I am extremely tired but for some odd reason I'm unable to sleep. I'm struggling to find the reason as to why I'm still wide awake when my head tells me to sleep, when my body tells me that I'm exhausted. I think I may have found the answer.

Every night before I go to bed I would listen to my walkman (yes, you iPod worshippers, my walkman. I don't believe in spending more on a device just because everyone think it's cool, it's a waste of money.) I'm listening to one particular song over and over again. A song I hold dear in my heart because it reminds me of special times.

I find my mind wondering off to faraway places every time I listen to this particular song. I would be drifting in and out of memories. I would actively memory "hop", non-stop. I'm still wide awake at 2.56am in the morning simply because my mind is over-active at a time where it's supposed to be shutting down and falling asleep.

I ask myself,why am I listening to this song when it's keeping me awake? I have to wake up in 4 hours. After that there will be no more sleep from 9am to 6pm. I needed enough sleep to get me through tomorrow. Again I ask myself, why am I still listening to this particular song? In true Faisal fashion, my mind began drifting away again, trying to find the answer as to why I refuse to not listen to this particular song and just fall asleep.

Then it hit me. I'm listening to this particular song over and over again simply because I wanted to be reminded of the special times it reminds me off. I wanted to be stuck in a moment. I'm listening to this particular song over and over again so that I could relive the feelings I had then, when smiling was the easiest thing to do.

Listening to the same song over and over again simply meant that I wanted to spend a little more time in a memory that has since passed.

Songs make us frown, they make us laugh. They put smiles on our faces and also tears in our eyes.

But for me, every single song has a story behind it. A memory underneath it that will resurface every single time it's listened to.

Perhaps that's why I'm listening to this particular song. So that I could relive something. Something that puts a smile on my face and a tear in my eye.

Songs are powerful compositions that are heard by the ear. Songs are powerful compositions that are interpreted by the mind. Songs are powerful compositions that pierce the soul.

Nov 11, 2009

Goodbye.

Dear You, 


Sometimes the best decision may not be the easiest to make. You'll always be my dear dear friend, a friend who I'll call my best, a friend who'll always be in my mind, a friend who I'll always cherish. Saying goodbye isn't easy, at least for me it isn't. But some things are more important than others and I understand that perfectly. 


I wish your last goodbye would be a bit more meaningful than "take care mate" but it's OK, it's not important. 


I'd like to ask you to promise me a few things. If you ever read this entry, I want you to promise me the things that you are about to read.


Promise me you'll be the happiest person on this planet. Promise me you'll take good care of yourself. Promise me you'll succeed in everything you do and promise me you'll smile your sweetest smile forever and let in continue to shine on forever more. 


Promise me.


Goodbye, God Bless.

Nov 6, 2009

Why swearing is good for the soul. (Reader discretion adviced, Foul language present)

When you're really mad at someone or something, what would you normally do to ease the tension?
Would you:

A) Break down into tears and cry your heart out.
B) Punch something.
C) Shout or scream your lungs out.
D) Nothing. ( Dangerous, people who keep their anger inside are just volatile volcanoes waiting to erupt)

What I would do is, I'd swear at that person or something and I'd feel better almost instantly.

This entry is about the power of self control.
This entry is about the power to make one feel better.
This entry is about reducing anger to a point where you wont be a threat to yourself or anyone else.
This entry is about the power of Fuck You.

Some would not agree with me and say that swearing is filth. It represents everything that's wrong with society. It's stupid, obscene and down right vulgar. I agree, with it being all that, but to a certain extent only.

You see, swearing may represent all that but let's take a look at why it was invented in the first place. Swearing was invented as a channel to express one's anger. Swearing was invented, in simple terms, as a short term strategy to get rid of one's anger. A Panadol Actifast of some sort to quickly subdue one's anger before he does something stupid like punching people.

People always have this misconception that swearing is for thugs, gangsters and people with no moral. Everyone swears. Be it in private or in public. Everyone swears. I think even the queen of England swears. Of course she'd still be grammatically correct when she swears ie "The cat shated all over the place" instead of
"The cat shits all over the place".

The F word has helped me on many occasions. Not just once or twice but many. I find it easier to let go of something painful or forget something bad that's happening to me by saying out loudly the three magical phrases that has helped me so much throughout my school years. It's still helping me out currently in my university years.

So next time I'm in deep shit, I know full well that by saying "Fuck it. Fuck you. and Fuck Off", I'd be back on my own two feet in no time.

You should try it =p.

Nov 3, 2009

"As long as you make a good husband"

I was facebooking with my wanna (me youngest aunty from me mom's side). We were merapu-ing as usual when I realized that I will not make a good wife. I cant:


1.Cook.
2.Cook.
3.Clean.
4.Iron clothes.


The above four are the four essential wifely duties.


Wanna said it's ok but she told me instead to make sure that I'll make a good husband. 


So there I was, sitting in my chair wondering about things I shouldn't be wondering about such as marriage and having kids. 


What makes a good husband? 


I then subsequently realized that I wont make a very good husband either. This is because wives tend to want their husbands to help in four essential areas, which are:


1.Cooking.
2.Cooking.
3.Cleaning.
4.Ironing clothes.


So there I was, sitting in my chair wondering again about the many divorces I predict I'll go through when I'm all grown up. Due to my lack of "essential four" skills. My future looked bleak. Dammit.


But then as I started to swivel down into dark dark thoughts about my impending divorce(s), I came to realize that I am only 21 years old. I still have a lot of time to sharpen my "essential four" skills. My future doesn't look so bleak after all.


As my heart regained control of my head, I thought to myself, I may not have the "essential four" skills but I think, I think la...no..not I think...I know that whoever ends up marrying me, I will love with all my heart, body and soul and that I'll give her nothing short of the world.


I may not know how to cook or clean, but I sure as hell know how to love =).



Nov 2, 2009

LAPORAN KEMATIAN/ DEATH REPORT.


I'm sitting in my cubicle listening to the people, lawyers to be exact, around me talking. All of them sound so busy. I on the other hand, have been doing absolutely nothing since this morning.
For the past six hours, I have been:

1.Surfing the net.
2.Merapu dengan Shaf.
3.Merapu dengan Sue.
4.Messaging people like mad due to me being so unbelievably bored.
5.Eating non-stop. Chewing stuffs.
6.More surfing the net.
7.Berangan nak beli:
 a)Phone baru.
 b)Clothes.
 c)Swatch Bijoux rings and accessories.
 d)Sport rims.
8. Fiddling with my:
a) Phone.
b)Water bottle.
c)My Friggin Laptop.
d)My Tie.

Without my laptop I.will.simply.drop.dead.

SIJIL KEMATIAN/DEATH CERTIFICATE

Nama/Name     : Ahmad Faisal Bin Rosli
Umur/Age      : 21 Years 3 Months and 15 Days.
Jantina/Sex   : Yes Please.
Punca Kematian: Boredom.
Cause of death: (Lihat atas)


Laporan Bedah Siasat/
Autopsy Report:


Pesakit telah mengalami kebosanan yang teruk akibat terlampau tidak tahu hendak buat apa di office. Beliau mendakwa telah meminta kerja daripada peguam peguam di tempat beliau bekerja akan tetapi peguam peguam semua terlampau sibuk untuk melayan beliau. Beliau kemudianya menjadi terlampau bosan. Lalu mati.


Laporan Disediakan Oleh:
Dr.Pakar.