Syaitan Setor Tingkatan 4 Cekap

I woke up at 6.30am in the morning. As soon as I got up, I decided to go out for a morning jog.

As I jogged from my house all the way up to Bukit Setiawangsa, all of a sudden old memories came gushing back into my head. 

I had Explosions In The Sky playing on my Walkman. The precise song that was playing was "Your Hand In Mine", my favourite song by them. The melancholic tune of the song made me feel nostalgic and somewhat sad. As I jogged pass my old school, I could see a younger version of me running towards the school gates. I was very rarely early nor on time for school. I'd be at least 5 minutes late.

I could also see my friends greeting me in front of the staircase in between block C and D..or was it A and B? I can't remember. I could see visions of me laughing my head off. I could see visions of me being carefree and somewhat naive. I miss those days greatly.

I miss the days where my best friends were around me all day. I miss the days where I would spike my Bio teacher just for the fun of it. I miss the days where I would gossip all day long with my BM teacher. I miss the days where I would talk and joke around with my friends during EST while pretending to be doing some work. I miss the days where I learned history from my all knowing-history teacher.

I miss Tingkatan 5 Amanah. I miss sitting at the back of that class (during most history lessons I'd be standing up) and pretending to be listening to the teacher in front. I miss....just lepaking at the back of the class..especially Fridays where all of us would smack each other's arses with our sampins. 

One of my fondest memory was when our accounts teacher raided the store room at the back of my class and went literally berserk:

DEMONS OF TINGKATAN 4 CEKAP

What subject: Accounting Principles

Location    : Tingkatan 4 Cekap/ Store room at the back.

WRONGDOING  : Ponteng class to lepak in store room to eat burger.

Teacher     : 1.Raided store room.

              2.Shouted "anak setan"

              3.Blindingly swung both arms around.

              4.Hitting every moving target at
                will.


lesson learned:


Only eat during recess.

You'd be asking why would getting hit by a teacher be one of my fondest memories. The answer is because it's one of the dumbest, most nakal-est things I ever did. It's one memory I could look back to and laugh at me for me being so....16 year old me. I am 22 years old this year. Being 16 seemed like just yesterday.

As I walked down Bukit Setiawangsa back to Taman Keramat Permai, I asked myself, what was high-school for me? I'm still trying to answer that question because there is no, and there never will be, any definitive answer. 

Whenever I think about high-school, I can only think of one thing. That one thing is how much I miss it. 

Are you gonna be the one that saves me?

There are many things I would like to say to you, But I don't know how.
Maybe, are you gonna be the one that saves me?
and afterall...
You're my wonderwall.

One breezy evening at Makam Pahlawan.

About a year ago, I went to Masjid Negara for Friday Prayers. It was my first time praying there. I prayed at Masjid Negara for two reasons. One, to perform my Friday prayers. Two, to visit the graves of Tun Abdul Razak and Tun Dr Ismail. 

As I recited Al-Fatihah for my two fallen heroes, my mind wondered away into an undefined space in time where I thought long and hard about what the two men above did for this country. My country. Our country.

Back in those days everything they did was done for the betterment of Malaysia. There was no hanky-panky or mala fide. There was only a burning desire to unite this country of ours and develop it.

The two Tuns served their country to the grave. Both died in office. Tun Abdul Razak suffered from leukaemia and died from it a frail thin man 35 years ago. Tun Dr Ismail died of a heart attack 38 years ago.

Tun Abdul Razak died as the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Tun Dr Ismail died as the Acting Prime Minister of Malaysia (Tun Abdul Razak was out of the country and appointed Tun Dr Ismail as the Acting Prime Minister for the entire duration of his absence).

After I finished reciting Al Fatihah for the two Tuns, I looked around me. I thought about the life that I am living, the dreams that I am dreaming.

On the way back home from Masjid Negara, as I passed along the lush green gardens of Taman Tasik Perdana, the grand towering skyscrapers of Kuala Lumpur and the winding ultra-modern elevated highways circling the nation's capital, a single drop of tear fell from my eyes. We owe a lot to these two men .

They created a foundation so strong, it helped Tun Dr Mahathir to take this country to new heights.

Apart from the blessings of Allah SWT, we owe a lot of what we have today to these two men. Let us not forget them, their sacrifices, their sense of responsibility and what they did for this country.

Al-Fatihah.

An analysis about Vokabulari pemuda/pemudi melayu zaman kini.

"Bro! Boleh tolong sikit tak bro?"
"Boleh..nak tolong apa?"
"Macam ni bro, nak mintak tolong bro sikit tolong fotostat dokumen dokumen ni. Thanks bro, nanti bro dah habis fotostat bro letak atas meja boss eh bro? Thanks bro!"
"Sama-sama......"

What's wrong with the conversation above?

I have never heard a human being using the word 'bro' so many times in a single conversation. He said bro seven times. I don't mean to be rude but him saying bro seven times in a single conversation makes me want to take my socks off and stuff it in his mouth or do the next best thing: Stab my ears with sharpened pencils so that I'd be deaf and won't be able to hear the guy talk. Or say 'bro'. Ever again.

He is exceedingly annoying.

But I guess that's how modern Malay youths talk. Here are some example of words used frequently by Malay youths nowadays.


1. "Nak gi mana dowh?"
What in god's name is dowh? I can only guess. It sounds like an abbreviation of the word "Bodoh". Can it be concluded that Malay youths nowadays call people stupid for no apparent reason?

2. "Weh, dah makan belum?"
What the hell is "weh?". I have absolutely no idea. I think it's an abbreviation of the word "wahai". People just got lazy. It used to be "Wahai teman, ke mana hendaknya?". Then it got shortened to "Wahai, nak pergi mana?". After that people just got more and more lazy so "Wahai" turned into "Weh".

3. "Chillex la bro, banyak masa lagi"
Chillex. A combination of chill and relax. I don't even know where to start with this....

4."Ala...sikit jew. Sikit tu pun nak marah kew".
This is an example of how Malay youths nowadays text. Ke is replaced with 'kew'. 'Je' is replaced by 'jew'. I'm sure people must know that 'jew' means yahudi -.-". The people who text using this kind of vocabulary annoys me just as much if not more than the dude who says 'bro' seven times in a single conversation.

I asked my parents about 'dowh' and they said they have never heard of it when they were small. Talk about change huh?

To all malay youths out there, including myself, who uses the word "dowh", Homer Simpson would be so proud of us.

D'oh!

Real men wear pink! But so does Elton John.

So there I was at a shoe store @ Carre4 Wangsa Maju with Mat. He insists on spelling 'Mat' with two T's. Even if I had to travel to hell and back, I'll never spell his name that way. Just because.

Anyways, I was looking for a new pair of sandals to replace my worn out capals. I was busy looking around the store when I found a pair that I liked. I called the sales assistant nearby to ask her for a size 9..

Faisal: Kak, yang ni size sembilan ada?


Sales Assistant: Er..adik..ni untuk perempuan...


Faisal: Ouh.....


Mat was laughing. The sales assistant was smiling. I was doing neither. I was staring blankly at the sales assistant. Since that fateful day my dear friend Mat has never stopped mocking me. Sadly, the "feminine" side of me has never left me. That fateful day at Carre4 Wangsa Maju was a sign of things to come. After the 'Shoe store' incident , there has been a couple of occasions where I made the same mistake, with the most recent being committed at Bukit Bintang a few weeks ago.

"Sal, ko nak tengok bahagian ladies tak? Mana tau kot-kot ada yang ko berkenan kat situ"


An example of how my dear friend of seven years Mat would mock me. 

It got me thinking, why was I drawn to female attire on a couple of occasions? To make matters even worst, pink is my favourite colour.

One thing I'm absolutely sure of is how unbelievably straight I am. Ask the girlfriend. She should know, she's a girl and I'm dating her. See straight as a ruler.

But that still doesn't answer why I was mysteriously drawn to female attire on a couple of occasions. I wear a necklace with a star-shaped pendant, I have a billion rings, a few bracelets and am the master of two female hamsters named  Barbie and Babe. Can I be any more gay-er?

Some guys actually go for manicures and pedicures. Some guys even wax themselves. Hell some guys get waxed while having pedi/manicures. And what's more astonishing is that these guys are as straight as a ruler.

To me, only real men are comfortable to admit that they pamper themselves. To me, only real men are brave enough to be in touch with their feminine side. Only guys with serious insecurity issues try to show the whole wide world how manly they are, most probably to hide the fact that they are actual softies deep down inside.

You know the type that will squeal in horror if they see something bad. Yes, squeal. Not man-shout, but squeal.

My conclusion is simple. Only real men wear pink! But the only problem is...so does Elton John. Dammit.