Mar 15, 2010

Losing My Virginity: An experience that will never be forgotten.

The place was cold. It was late in the evening and I had to go home soon. I wanted to leave. However, I  told myself turning back and leaving was not an option. I walked over to the girl not far from me. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous but she wasn't dead ugly either. She's what you call a typical "girl next door".

I summoned all the courage that I had in me. I would've downed a few cans of beer for that extra bit of courage but I don't drink. I was nervous. My mouth was dry. After staring at each other for a few seconds, I could already feel the tension between us. Finally, I opened my mouth.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a book"

"Yes sir, this is a book store. What's the title of the book you're looking for?"

"The author is Sir Richard Branson" I told her.

"Yes sir, and the title please?"

"............."

"Sir, the title please?"

"Losing my virginity"

She gave me a blank look. 

"I'll be right back sir"

She went away looking for the book. A few minutes later she came back and told me she had something else to do. She subsequently told me that one of her colleagues would help me find the book. I wanted to tell her it's OK I'll look for the book myself . I would not like anyone else to know that I was looking for a book titled "Losing my virginity". 

People.will.judge.me.

As I opened my mouth to tell her it's OK I'll look for the book myself, she called out to her colleague, Allen. 

"Allen!" she called out in a rather loud voice, "Please help me to find a book for this customer" (she pointed her thumb at me). Allen was a few meters away from the wretched woman and I.

"Ok sure, what's the title of the book?"

"You bastard woman don't you f**king dare tell him the title of the book in front of everyone here!" Went a voice inside my head. Much to my dismay, the wretched witch bellowed:

"It's called LOSING MY VIRGINITY"

You stupid woman you ruined my life. She repeated it a few times when flabbergasted Allen did not believe his ears.

Behind me was a long queue. Beside me was an even longer queue. In front of me was an old lady with her grandchild. Everyone there now knows I was looking for a book titled "Losing my virginity". Everyone there will now think that I am somewhat perverted.

Allen smiled. I told Allen the book's not about what he thinks it's about. It's about a self-made billionaire, not some lewd perverted journal of a complete stranger's first time sexual experience. He just nodded. Never once did his smile fade away. I bet he'll be telling the same story that I am telling you right now to his friends.

I'm so going to order that book via mail order. I didn't wait for smiling flabbergasted Allen to return with the book. It's hard to keep your cool when a whole bunch of people are staring at you while whispering to each other. It was a scene fit for a typical American teen movie.

To some ignorant few on that fateful evening, and maybe even Allen, I will forever be remembered as the dude who wanted to buy a book with instructions as to how to lose his virginity. 

Damn you wretched woman. And damn you Allen.

* The book was titled losing my virginity most probably as a tongue in cheek reference to Sir Richard Branson's trademark company, The Virgin Group. 

6 comments:

  1. hahahaha..kamu nii kontrobersi gilaaa.aku suggest lepaih ni kamu tak usah laaa pi kedaii tu balik.hahaha

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  2. hahahaha,aku pi lagiii,tapi tunggu lama sikit la b4 next tyme aku pi.haha.sebulan dua ka.haha.

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  3. hahahah.
    u r crazy junkang.

    tbe2 yur blog meletop jadik hits among my fren sbb ur posttitle ni je. ohmy.

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  4. hahaha, mesti semua sumpah seranah after actually reading it kan :P sex sells. haha.

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  5. Sex always sells. Haha. So takleh blah ok the way you wrote out the first part, I swear I was already laughing (since I already know what this is about).

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  6. haha.kannn.yeah, wanted it to be tht way :D bet i fooled a few people with the title and the opening paragraphs ;p

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