Why I won't shave my facial hair. Ever.

Here's why:

1. It is vital to maintain facial hair for that Johnny Depp look.
2. It is vital to somewhat look like Johnny Depp.
3. It is vital to have facial hair resembling those of Johnny Depp's.
4. Johnny Depp is the single most coolest guy on the face of planet earth.

I watched Johnny Depp's latest movie, Public Enemies a few days ago. I was dumbstruck by his coolness.

I will not shave my facial hair. I will walk like a drunken pirate. I will swap my hands for a pair of scissors. I will purchase a chocolate factory.

But before all that, I'd have to get me my first pair of leather jacket/pants and visit M.A.C for a boxful of eyeliners and mascara to truely look like Johnny Depp.

6 packs and toned biceps? Nah...Who needs all that when you got eyeliners and mascara.