How Bruno Mars screwed up guys everywhere.

Bruno Mars, the lyrics of your songs are beautiful. So beautiful that it makes the ladies go gaa-gaa and the guys go "oh, god now she wants me to be Bruno Mars"

Dear Bruno, you made all girls worldwide knock any expectations they have in a guy a few notches up. Now because of you and your oh god-sweet lyrics, when the male species is looking for a suitable mate from the other gender,our main enemy is no longer frat boys rich kids and superhandsome male supermodels. Our main enemy now is a bunch of lyrics.

As for guys like me who is in a stable relationship, I worry that the sweetness of your lyrics makes all the sweet things I do look bland and boring. Although this is highly improbable as the gf and I love each other to bits, it may be a deciding factor in her favor the next time we argue about *anything goes here*. 

Bruno Mars, thank you for making the world a much much more beautiful place, but you screwed up your own kind dude.

How Malay bros shake hands.

This entry is not specifically limited to Malay bros only but as I am Malay, I write from what I see based on who I hang out with. As my friends are mostly Malays, this is how I see Malay bros shake hands.

1. The normal handshake.
- Used when greeting normal friends or acquittance.
- Strictly formal. You know that you are not considered a bro to a person if your hands are shook in this manner.

2. The normal+spin+calit ibu jari handshake.
- Used when greeting 3rd level bros.
- This may also be used to quickly forge a close caring relationship between one bro and another bro who are not that close. A bro will see your act of calit ibu jari as a sign that you want to take your relationship to the next level.

3. The normal+spin+calit ibu jari+pull hands while each others palm are touching together+knuckle knock handshake.
- Used when greeting 2nd level bros.

4. The normal+spin+pulling each other closer and rub chest against  one another handshake.
- Used when greeting 1st level bros.
-This can also be used to thank level 2 and level 3 bros for any act of kindness that these bros may have done for me.

5. The normal+spin+pulling each other closer+gently rub each other's cheeks against one another handshake.
- When a bro performs this kind of handshake to a girl, it is considered normal and shows a certain level of closeness between the said bro and the girl. However if a bro does this to another bro....
- Then the bro who did this is a very gay bro and is considered as such.
- Also used by any and every middle-eastern guys. *special mention: Straight Bangladeshi guys hold hands while walking.

How to achieve your dreams.

I am 23 years old this year. I feel old. When I was 21, I felt I was at the pinnacle of my youth. When I was 22, I told myself, "22 is not that far away from 21, you're still young". In 3 months time I'll be 23. Whats in my head you ask? Well...nothing really..its just that I AM GETTING OLD!!!! And I just realized, I have accomplished ZILCH dreams.

Dreams:
1. Form a band. be bigger than The Beatles (Ah..young positivism)
2. 6 packs.
3. Find love of life
4. Learn to be good at playing football
5. Yes...this is a big one...ACT. I have always been a big fan of acting. I used to act in lame-as-hell/god-awful plays when I was in primary school. Loved it. Never had the confidence to pursue it. I am not good-looking.


How to achieve dreams 1 to 5
1. Never gonna happen
2. Never gonna happen
3. <3 Fiona
4.Never gonna happen (Although I am the manager of a football team)
5. HAHAHAHAAHHAHHHHAHAA. Yeah Right -.-"

How to really achieve dreams
Its 6.50pm. Its raining outside. My surroundings cannot BE more stressful. As I am typing this my left hand is reaching for my guitar to achieve #1, after that I'll be doing sit-ups to achieve #2, #3 done, #4....perhaps I can play a little football with my boys in the evening. For #5...hahaha.Perhaps one day :) I could have done all this when I was still 19 years old. BUT I DID NOT. I procrastinated and was generally very lazy. I talked a lot but never did anything to realize my dreams. Now I'm 23. I realized although I am still very young, time is running out. So if anyone reads this and has yet to achieve a dream or two, straighten the fuck up, stand tall, go chase whatever it is you want to chase. Start now, seize the moment, be the man, let them balls roam freely and show the fucking world what you're made of :) GOODLUCK!

The perks of being a lawyer.

Here I am. Stuck at being a law student. I suck at being a law student.Why do you suck at being a law student you may ask. Simple. Because it is B.O.R.I.N.G. Okay, personal rantings aside, when I really think about it, being a lawyer CAN be interesting. Not WILL, not IT IS GOING TO but CAN be interesting. Heres why:

1. You get to wear smart clothing, look sharp and buy expensive suits. This is vital so that A: You wont commit contempt of court B: Clients trust you. Looking like failed person in life wont get you many clients. Zegna suits, here I come :)

2. You get to use bombastic words to explain the simplest of things. This will mean that you will always sound smart. Go to McDoonalds, you order a Big Mack but the numbskull behind the counter gives you a McChicky. You eat the burger anyways but soon you develop an allergy. You call the owner and threaten him with a lawsuit. "You sir, as a superior towards your subordinates, are vicariously responsible towards the actions of your subordinates" Vicariously. Fuyooo =.="

3. You get to dramatize your life..and look cool Dylan Mcdermott style. Picture this. You're at a wedding. You're eating. Suddenly your phone rings. You pick up the call. You number 2 (refer to point number 2) your friggin ass off. Everyone at the table looks at you in sheer suspense. You get up, wipe your face and say oh so dramatically: "I have to save someone from the death penalty. I believe he's innocent". You say this with so much tension and drama in your face  that you make the people around you feel constipated. You get up and rush towards your car, face all tensed. Drama.

4. You get to have the words" *Name goes here* Advocate and Solicitor, High Court of Malaya" on your name card. That in itself is friggin cool.

For me personally, the best part of being a lawyer is to able to make a difference in someone's life. Doctors call themselves healers. They call themselves life savers. I honestly believe that they have the right to claim all that because in all honesty, thats what they do. How about lawyers. What can we call ourselves? Are we healers? Are we life savers?

We may not be healers or lifesavers but believe me, we can make a difference in someone's life. Maybe in the future I'll help prevent an innocent man from being hanged for a crime he didn't commit. If something like that ever happens, I will know that I gave a woman another chance to call someone her husband, a mother and father another chance to call someone their son and a few kids another chance to call someone their father.

If that day ever comes, I will smile and think to myself: Law School is shit. But I'll be glad to be swimming in chest high shit if it meant that I'll have the chance to make a difference.

Benar kata-katamu Hang Tuah, tetapi...

Apabila aku melihat cermin, aku dapat melihat dengan jelas ciri-ciri muka aku. Hidung aku mancung, kulit aku cerah, rambut aku bewarna cokelat gelap. Apabila aku menulis, aku perasan yang aku lebih selesa menulis dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Apabila aku berbual dengan rakan-rakanku, perbualan aku akan diselang-seli dengan Bahasa Malaysia dan Bahasa Inggeris.

Apabila aku menonton wayang, aku perasan yang kebanyakan filem yang ditonton aku adalah filem berbahasa Inggeris. Apabila aku membeli CD lagu, aku perasan kebanyakan CD yang aku beli adalah CD band-band dari luar negara.

Aku melihat di sekeliling aku. Aku perasan yang bukan aku seorang sahaja yang menjalani kehidupan seharian seperti ini. Bukan aku seorang sahaja yang makin melupakan asal-usul diri aku.

Tetapi apabila aku fikir balik, aku tidak setuju dengan diri aku sendiri. Aku bukan Melayu yang lupa diri. Aku hanya seorang Melayu yang menerima adat dan bahasa kaum lain sebagai sebahagian dari diri aku.

Aku sedih apabila aku melihat kaum-kaum di negara aku bergaduh sesama sendiri. Aku tidak salahkan sesiapa dalam hal ini. Bukan semua orang sempurna. Aku seorang Melayu yang bangga akan keturunan aku, tetapi aku tidak pernah, tidak akan dan tidak mungkin menganggap diri aku sebagai tuan di negara aku sendiri kerana negara ini bukan aku yang punya. Negara ini bukan kaum aku yang punya.

Negara ini milik seluruh rakyat Malaysia.

Tetapi ini tidak bermakna aku akan mengetepikan kaum aku sendiri. Kelak apabila aku sudah berjaya dan Insyallah kaya raya, akan aku gunakan harta bendaku, tenaga dan kudratku untuk memastikan kaum aku berdiri sama tinggi, duduk sama rendah dengan kaum-kaum lain di negara ini. Ini janjiku.

Orang Melayu bukan kaum yang lemah. Orang Melayu dahulu merupakan pahlawan, satria gagah perkasa yang menakluk wilayah-wilayah di Nusantara ini untuk menubuhkan Kesultanan Melayu Melaka.

Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia. Ya Hang Tuah, benar kata-katamu itu. Tetapi apa gunanya kewujudan kita jika kita hanya mampu melihat orang lain menjadi tuan si hamba.