J o u r n a l s

Happy birthday!

2011-12-22T03:06:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday baby :) i love you with all my hearttt heee

Apabila Azan memanggil.

2011-12-10T13:12:00.001+08:00

Satu ketika dahulu apabila azan memanggil aku buat tidak tahu sahaja. Aku hormat Azan. Aku jawab Azan tetapi aku ignore segala isi kandungan Azan itu. Azan mengajak aku bersolat, aku lebih suka duduk di kedai kopi hisap rokok bersembang dengan teman-teman aku. Jika tidak, aku tidur sahaja.

Ketika Azan memanggil, aku memekakkan telinga dan jiwa aku daripada seruan Allah SWT. Aku memekakkan telinga dan jiwa aku dari Tuhan aku sendiri.

Mungkin aku rasa seperti mahu hidup selama lamanya. Mungkin aku rasa mati itu tak mungkin datang menjemputku. Mungkin aku rasa aku lebih berkuasa menentukan hidup aku dari pencipta aku sendiri.

Aku lupa diri, aku lupa tuhan aku, aku lupa Rasul aku, aku lupa agama aku, aku lupa segala ajaran ibu bapa aku.

Apabila agama aku diperli atau dihina oleh sesiapa di luar sana aku pantas melawan balik. Aku pantas bangun seolah olah aku ini lah pelindung agama suci Allah SWT ini. Akan tetapi, tatkala aku melalui sebuah masjid yang sedang melaungkan azan, aku hanya lalu tanpa memperdulikan isi kandungan azan itu.

Baru aku sedar. Yang membinasakan agama aku bukan penghina, pencacai macai bagai di luar sana. Yang membinasakan agama aku adalah aku sendiri.

Dalam perjalanan balik dari Melaka ke Kuala Lumpur, aku bersembang dengan bapa ku. Tiba-tiba aku tanya dia mengenai kekayaan dunia. Dia tanpa menoleh ke arah aku, menjawab aku dengan sepotong ayat sahaja:

"Semua ini adalah sementara. Tolong jangan lupa"

Aku pembinasa agama Allah SWT di dunia ini. Aku meruntuhkan tiang-tiang agama. Dalam perjalanan balik ke Kuala Lumpur itu, aku rasa Tuhan ku yang Maha Esa telah menyentuh hati aku. Mulai hari itu, aku tidak lagi meninggalkan solat.

Ya Allah, ampunkan hamba mu ini ,aku tidak akan meninggalkan agama aku lagi. Aku takkan ignore seruan Azan.

Aku tidak ingin menjadi pemusnah agama ku, aku tidak ingin menjadi seorang hero di dunia tetapi seorang hamba hina yang disiksa, dipijak di siat kulitnya di api neraka.

Bagi yang menanya tentang sebab aku post entry ini, sebabnya simple sahaja. Aku perlu ingatkan diri aku serta orang lain di dunia ini supaya jangan lupakan Allah SWT kerana ajal maut bukan di tangan kita. Jika ada yang terdetik nak berubah apabila baca entry ini, Alhamdulillah, tujuan aku telah sempurna.

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

My dream wedding.

2011-12-08T18:24:00.001+08:00

My dream wedding would be on a cliff, somewhere in the enchanted Island of Langkawi,crystal clear blue waters in the back drop, a sunny cloudless sky. It wont be hot though, the wedding will take place on a cliff where giant shady trees grow. There will be less than 100 guests. The closest of family and the bestest of friends only. Bruno Mars will be playing in the back ground and my bride to be standing beside me. Fiona.

That would be my dream wedding if I had a few hundred thousand ringgit to spare. If I don't than my wedding must have at least one of these:

1. White tents. Not the ugly canvas tents. White tents with fabric roof. Too keep the sunshine out while pleasing on the eyes.
2. Must take place in a place other than a community hall. Not necessarily hotels or clubs. Just somewhere nice and tranquil. Perhaps a forest reserve somewhere near the city.
3. Live band. This is a must.
4.My family and friends.
5.My two cats.
6.A piano somewhere with a pianist. Playing oh so romantic songs such as Canon in D.

I'll be graduating soon. Although its normally girls who are excited as hell about weddings I cant help but to feel really excited about mine too nevermind the fact I have absolutely nooooooo idea when I'm getting married. I am not one hundred percent certain about when I'll get married but the one thing I'm certain of is who I'm marrying. There is not one girl on earth that can replace my Fiona.

I love you to bits sweetheart :)

As fun as it is planning my own future dateless venue-less guest list-less wedding, I know deep down inside that I'll only get to choose what color boxers I'll be wearing on that day because yes, the bride to-be will decide everything and anything. Hmmm..I guess writing this entry was a waste of time since I'll most probably not get a say.....but hey, as long as she's happy, I'm happy. If Allah permits and Insyallah He will, one day I'll be rich enough to give Fiona anything her heart desires.

She wants the world, she gets the world. Because my world would never be complete without her in it.

ps to my bestfriend su, congratulations on your upcoming soon to be engagemnt. I expect nothing less than front row VVIP seats :P

How to be Cool: A brief Guide.

2011-12-04T01:12:00.001+08:00

I have never seen myself as a cool person (that is most probably because I'm not). So, with me not being the coolest kid on the block, is my life worth living? Or is my life just a waste of space? I'm gonna write in brief about an observation I made....

Being "Cool" used to be important when I was growing up. I could clearly see the difference between the cool kids, the average joes and the so-called losers. But at 23 years of age, the lines get blurred.

In final year of uni, the lines get blurred. In the working world, roles are switched. The nerdy loner suddenly becomes a CEO (cool points up by 100%) while the cool but dumb guys become...well...cool dumb and poor (cool points evaporate to zero percent).

Life is a wheel. All of us are given an opportunity to be cool. Its just a question of when and in which point of time in life. This of course does not apply to everyone in every circumstances. Some were born cool, lived a cool life and died as George Best. Only upon death did you and your coolness part dear George.

Where I study, most of the cool kids never finish their studies on time. Its always the nerds and unpopular ones that graduate on time and scores top marks in exams. During their time in campus, no one really gave two hoots about who they were. Its when they graduate that people started to realize how cool it was to be them. Young, successful, earning lots of moolah while their so called cool batch mates are still stuck as undergraduates. Extending their asses off.

My point? My point is, no one stays as the cool kid until they die and no one stays as the loser until they die. Therefore I learned that if you see yourself and other people as being cooler than any other individual out there, than you are a joke. Say no to stereotyping :)

How to be cool:

Step 1: There aren't any.

Step 2: look at "Step 1"

IN THE WISE WORDS OF EMINEM: "Don't let em say you aint beautiful. They can all get fucked just stay true to you.

.....I will live by that. And so should you :)

Your Hand In Mine

2011-11-30T22:29:00.001+08:00

Your Hand In Mine by Explosions In The Sky. The song is So nostalgic. A slide show of my life is showing inside my head.
I can only afford to smile :')

Bye-bye blackberry!

2011-11-27T14:00:00.001+08:00

My BlackBerry is DEAD. I fell down, hurt my back,crushed my dear berry in my pocket when I fell so its now dead. I wanted to buy a Bold 2 (Why not Bold 4? I don't have moolah) but I found out that all Bold 2's on sale are recond models aka SECONDHAND. There is no way I'm gonna fork out money to buy a secondhand phone.

Okay so now what phone to buy? I wondered around Lowyat with Amir, my brother. Then I saw a little gem by the name of SAMSUNG Galaxy Ace. Took a look at it. Looked like an iPhone 4. Hated that fact by the way.

Anyways after further pondering and making phone calls to mama ayah and mat (bestfriend cum android specialist) I concluded that the Galaxy Ace was the phone for me. So from now on, goodbye BlackBerry Messenger, Hello Whatsapp!!

From Nokia to Blackberry : How Malaysian children changed.

2011-11-26T01:35:00.001+08:00

I got my first mobile phone when I was 15 years old. It wasn't mine alone mind you. It belonged to me, my sister and my brother. It was a Nokia 3310. Almost everyone my age had a Nokia 3310 as a first phone. That was in 2003. Fast forward to 2011, my 15 year old brother uses a Blackberry Curve 8520. Nothing spectacularly advanced but still, it was better than my Nokia 3310. You may say that times have changed and that a Blackberry Curve is an entry level phone but still, there are cheaper phones around. The Nokia 3310 was the cheapest phone around when my dad bought it for us.

My 16 year old cousin uses a Blackberry Torch. My girlfriend's two 5 and 6 year old cousins own an iPad 2 each. My 5 year old cousin owns a first generation iPhone (it was his dad's but still, it's an iPhone) . My......*the list goes on and on*.

Nowadays when my young young cousins come over, they would play electronic devices to keep them busy if there were no toys around. I remember vividly how different it was for me when I was their age. If there were no toys around, my cousins and I would play traditional Malaysian games like Galah Panjang and Polis sentri or perhaps even PepsiCola.

How things have changed. 2011 is about to close its doors. I am 23 and I will be finishing with my studies in 3 short months.

Every time when I am at my grandparent's, I would pause and stare at them for a while. They do look very old. I still remember how they were when I was still very young. My grandmothers from both sides would take me out by taxi to the marketplace while my grandfather would constantly move about the house doing god knows what. Now they just sit down, watch us move about and smile.

When I have kids, I'll make sure they know what Galah Panjang is. I'll make sure they know how to play PepsiCola. I'll make sure they know how to create a rubber slingshot with folded paper for "bullets''. I'll make sure they go 3310 first before they go all 9900 or 3Gs :).

Student life:16 long years of it. From 7 to 23.

2011-11-20T01:12:00.001+08:00

No one wants to read about the life of a 23 year old law student who at 23 years of age, is still a darn law student. But I'm just going to write about it anyway. There are 7 billion people living on the face of this planet. I'm sure at least one out of the 7 billion would read this post about my student life. Uneventful to some, pretty fun for others but nothing short of breathtakingly spectacular for me.This is my final semester and in 3 short months, I'll finally be done with my student life.

My life. My life started the second I was born. Duh. Life was pretty good when I was a kid. Very much loved, had long straight dark brown hair. No teeth. All gone due to excessive candy eating. Serial bed-wetter and most importantly, a hero to mom and dad. I was a hero. Still am to them.

Okay, primary school. Studied in Britain for 3 and a half years. Bullied by racist Caucasian kids (and you Westerners pride yourselves as being the so-called heroes of human rights. Hello, you massacred the Jews and turned Africans into slaves, not us!!). My brother was my hero. He would beat them sadistic fucks for me. He would then be punished by the equally sadistic racist lunch ladies. Okay, 1997, back in Malaysia. Happy as hell. Kids were my size. If they picked a fight, I would stand a chance of winning. Which I did, at least most of the time. Got my first love letter at 12 years old from an unknown girl.

Secondary school. Divided into two parts. One in Taiping, one in Setiawangsa. In Taiping, prefect. Handsome boy, as some would say. No girlfriend but wanted one after watching the blockbuster Indonesian movie, Ada Apa Dengan Cinta or popularly abbreviated to A2DC. Moved to Setiawangsa at age 15. Learned to play guitar, became good at playing guitar, still handsome boy and now, I got a sad excuse of a girlfriend! Oh wait no, it was more like a fling. A month. So no, wasn't girlfriend, it was a fling. Oh, started smoking, aged 15.

University life. Finally got a girlfriend. Broke up. Heartbreak number 1. Got another one. Broke up, heartbreak number 2. Then got another one, found love of life, will love with all my heart and I want to marry this girl because if perfect was spelled differently, it would be spelled as F-I-O-N-A (Just the way you are- Bruno Mars playing in the background every single time I see her face or write about F-I-O-N-A). Still handsome boy but now I am a bit fat. Gained weight. Oh, quit smoking, aged 23.

Of course everything is much much more detailed than what was written but if I wanted to incorporate every single thing in life, I......most probably wouldn't. Too many things to write, too little patience to accomplish anything.

And there you have it. My student life :)

kecantikan seorang wanita

2011-08-27T04:36:00.001+08:00

Jauh melebihi pemandangan terindah di alam fana
Jauh melebihi puisi terindah di dunia
Jauh melebihi segala pemandangan dilihat mata
Jauh melebihi segala yang mampu ditulis pena

Tiada yang mampu menandingi
Tiada yang mampu mengalahi
Samada hari ini, esok atau berabad lagi
Keindahan keagungan ciptaan Ilahi

Tiadakah kau tahu
Tanyalah segala tuan si hamba
Tiada keindahan di dunia ini yang mampu
Mengalahi kecantikan seorang wanita.

How to quit smoking .

2011-08-23T18:07:00.000+08:00

We come to the age old question of: How to quit smoking.

I was a heavy smoker. A true legend. I used to smoke a pack a day. 20 sticks of ciggies. Sometimes more. If I was hanging out with the boys, one pack would be gone in a few short hours. About 24 days ago, I decided to quit smoking. So I did. I didn't stop gradually. I stopped immediately.

So how did I quit smoking?

A. Nicotine patch.
B. Nicotine gum.
C. Chew pen.
D. Khidmat Bomoh
E. Non of the above.

The answer is E, non of the above. Here's how I did it.

I woke up from a nap. I looked outside the window. In front of my house is a field with a playground smack in the middle. The sky was bright blue and clear. It was like I just saw the most beautiful painting in the world. The sound of children laughing and my mother cooking downstairs were like music to my ears. My phone buzzed. It was Fiona. She just woke up and sent me the sweetest text ever that made me smile oh so wide. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, exhaled and thought to my self: This is life.

Two seconds after exhaling I started coughing. My chest was hurting, my throat felt like it was on fire and my eyes were watering. After a few bouts of disgusting smoker's cough, I finally managed to straighten up and gasp for air. Than it struck me.

The smoking's got to stop. Because if it doesn't than there is a good chance the wonderful life I'm living right now, won't be wonderful as wonderful in a few short years. That's IF I still have a life to live with when that time comes.

You want a magic drug to help you to quit smoking? There ain't any. From my personal experience, nicotine patches, gums etc are pure bullshit. You want the secret to quit smoking? Here's the secret mate.

Love. That's the all elusive fucked up drug everyone is trying to find. When you love yourself and the people around you enough to stop killing you and them slowly with poison, believe me mate, you're gonna want to quit. Trust me, I did just that.

How to be TS Tony Fernandes.

2011-08-22T01:07:00.002+08:00

He bought QPR. Why on earth would anyone buy QPR. I know the team has a colorful history but in recent years, where has the club been and what good would it do to spend hundreds of millions of ringgit on a club that has nearly no fans outside the UK?

A business analysts said this: " I cannot see why he bought QPR. It has no business prospect"..or something along that line.

Good old Tony simply replied: "That's why he still remains as an analyst".

SNAPP!!!!!!!

He bought an ailing airline company with debts amounting to millions and millions of ringgit, turned it around to be a mega successful company, started his own formula one team and now, he bought over a newly promoted EPL club.

From his track record, I can make one simple conclusion:

To be as successful as Tony Fernandes you have to be brave and think out of the box. However, you will also need balls the size of Australia.

Kudos Tan Sri. Hopefully I can be like you one day.

Help me find God.

2011-08-10T01:03:00.001+08:00

The moment I was born my father took me into his hands and gently whispered into my ears the first words I would hear as I entered this world:

"Allahuakbar"
Allah Maha Besar. God is Great.

As I grew older my parents called religious teachers to our house to teach me how the read the Holy Quran. My parents taught me how to fast during Ramadhan. My parents taught me how to pray. My parents taught me how to begin everything I do with the phrase Bismillahirahmanirrahim which means In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

I did all diligently. I remembered when I was 6 or 7 years old, every time before I go to bed, I would stare at the wall and thought to myself the horror of judgment day. The horror of not dying as a Muslim, the horror of dying without Iman. I was petrified. As I grew older, it all changed. I was no longer afraid of God. I was no longer afraid of the Almighty being that brought me into this world. I forgot that as easy as He brought me into this world, it would be equally as easy for Him to kick me out.

I have seen many people around me changing for the better. I have seen alcoholics and drug users turning their life around because of one reason and one reason only. And that reason is Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

Come to think about it, I never lost God. He has always been there for me, blessing my life with his grace. Blessing me with everything I have today. I just forgot about Him. I forgot about My God that has given me everything good I have in this life.

Its time I went back to my God. Kembali kepada Allah SWT.

This Ramadhan, My life will be turned around Insyallah.

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

The main reason why guys cry (If they ever).

2011-07-16T04:04:00.001+08:00

Fernando Torres,50 Million pounds, heading for Stamford Bridge.

"His armband proved he was a red Torres Torres, You'll never walk alone it said Torres Torres, We bought the lad from sunny spain, give him the ball he scores again, Fernando Torres Liverpool's number 9".

This certain Spaniard, who doesn't even know I existed, was making me teary eyed. Liverpool was having a shit season. Morale was lower than chicken shit on the ground. And then this happened. Our star striker was leaving us.

Fiona looked at me in disbelief. She kept on staring at me before finally......

"Baby are you crying?"

A tear just rolled down my eye in front of my girlfriend. I was crying because of another guy. Now if she didn't know any better she'd just be laughing her head off and start calling me names such as fag, drama queen etc. But she didn't. She came up to me and embraced me and kept telling me Liverpool will be okay without Torres. She understood what many girls don't: How football can make guys cry.

Its hard to explain why guys are so into football. 22 grown men chasing a small ball around an entire pitch. The winner is the team who puts the ball behind the opposing team's net the most. If you put it that way, football sounds...dare I say it.....ridiculous.

I manage a football team. We call ourselves ROC. I love this team. To wear the team jersey, to see the players playing, to feel the awesomeness of winning...the feeling is beyond ecstasy. I get nervous when we're one goal down. I shout on the top of my lungs when we win. If we lost.....I would go back home feeling dejected.

All this for a game of 22 grown men chasing a small inflated sphere shaped object.

When Malaysia won the Suzuki Cup, I was happy beyond Liverpool winning the 2005 Champions League trophy (5 times Manchester United...5 times). It was a feeling that I cannot describe. When everyone was shouting and laughing in pure joy, I followed suit. But when everyone went back, I was left alone to suck in what just happened. We won the cup for the first time in the cup's 15 year history. Emotions got hold of me and you guessed it, I got teary eyed.

I can't really answer the question of why guys are fascinated by football.

To the girls who keeps on ridiculing my and every other guy's love of football, I can't tell you why we love football. No one can tell you why we love football not even us because my dears, we cant define it....we feel it.

Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku, You'll Never Walk Alone.

Clean elections: From what I see.

2011-07-06T12:39:00.002+08:00

For the past few weeks this country has been rocked by the issue of clean elections. I have personally looked at the list made up by Bersih and what they are demanding for is in my opinion good. The intentions are all good. That was me thinking on my own based on pure logic. But then I tried to look at it from a more political point of view. Since a young age I have been fascinated by politics so its very natural of me to think twice about an issue. The first from a pure logic point of view, the second from a political point of view.

Some of my friends argue that it is not politically motivated. I beg to differ. Nothing is completely free of politics. In my opinion, when the Prime Minister grants a particular favor or award to any particular class of society he is killing two birds with one stone. One, he is doing his duty as the Prime Minister to aid his people, two, he is doing his duty as a political party president to ensure that people will continue voting for him.

The same goes for Bersih. Maybe Dato Ambiga is apolitical (very unlikely) but what about the hordes of opposition political party leaders who support it with all their might? To say that no political agenda is involved to me is a bit naive. There must be some political agenda, be it positive or not, there must be some political agenda.

The opposition won five states during the last general elections and have been in power in Kelantan for the past 20 or so years. If the corruption and abuse of power by the government when it comes to elections is so bad that it warrants a mass protest comprising of one hundred thousand or even perhaps a million protesters flooding the streets of my beloved Kuala Lumpur, would the opposition have achieved what they did during the last general elections? Would the government voluntarily give up the richest state in Malaysia, Selangor to the opposition? If the level of abuse and dirty tactics by the government is that bad, Selangor and Kuala Lumpur would not be in the firm grasp of the opposition coalition. In the whole of Kuala Lumpur, only two parliamentary constituencies are held by the government; Putrajaya and Setiawangsa.

So is there really a need for a mass demonstration that would cripple the economy of our capital city and paralyze Kuala Lumpur? What is the purpose of holding demonstrations? To pressure the government into heeding the wants of a group of people? Or trying to paint a bad image on the government in and outside Malaysia by portraying the government as a bunch of scared cheaters who are in power only because of cheating and vote-rigging?

One day of demonstrating would not be enough to force the federal government into doing anything.You will need much more time, you will need millions of people, you will need to hold similar demonstrations all over the country. My question is, don't you think if you did all of that, wouldn't you cripple our nation's economy? Your mother, father, brother,sister,friends and family would all be affected by it. Look at Egypt. It's economy is crippled and its tourism industry is dead.

Is that what you want for our beloved country?

No elections can be totally free of corruption. Corruption will forever exist but the only difference is whether the sum involved is big or small or whether it is in monetary form or not. There are corruption in the government. No one is denying that especially not me. There has been countless ministers tried for corruption. However, there are also corruption going on within the opposition political parties. This is of course my own personal opinion without any concrete proof. But it seems nowadays people believe anything they want to believe without even an ounce of concrete evidence. I am merely following the flow.

The elections commission has been toying with the idea of introducing biometrics to help ensure the fairness of elections. They claim that they plan to introduce it and in my opinion they bloody well should during the next general elections. If the opposition really had the support that they think they have, than by the will of Allah SWT, Putrajaya will fall to them.

In my opinion, Bersih is free to voice out their opinions and wants but they must find a suitable venue that would not cripple Kuala Lumpur and cause hardships to Kuala Lumpur's two million population. Its good that the street protests has been called off and that the venue has changed to a stadium.

My King has spoken and His Majesty is against street protests because it can do more harm than good. But His Majesty also gave a piece of advice to the government: Practice what you preach and carry out all the promises made by you to the people. Federal government,Never Ever Forget That or else the consequences can be dire.

Allah SWT bless Malaysia, Daulat Tuanku.

How Bruno Mars screwed up guys everywhere.

2011-06-18T03:31:00.001+08:00

Bruno Mars, the lyrics of your songs are beautiful. So beautiful that it makes the ladies go gaa-gaa and the guys go "oh, god now she wants me to be Bruno Mars"

Dear Bruno, you made all girls worldwide knock any expectations they have in a guy a few notches up. Now because of you and your oh god-sweet lyrics, when the male species is looking for a suitable mate from the other gender,our main enemy is no longer frat boys rich kids and superhandsome male supermodels. Our main enemy now is a bunch of lyrics.

As for guys like me who is in a stable relationship, I worry that the sweetness of your lyrics makes all the sweet things I do look bland and boring. Although this is highly improbable as the gf and I love each other to bits, it may be a deciding factor in her favor the next time we argue about *anything goes here*.

Bruno Mars, thank you for making the world a much much more beautiful place, but you screwed up your own kind dude.

How Malay bros shake hands.

2011-04-19T04:14:00.002+08:00

This entry is not specifically limited to Malay bros only but as I am Malay, I write from what I see based on who I hang out with. As my friends are mostly Malays, this is how I see Malay bros shake hands.

1. The normal handshake.
- Used when greeting normal friends or acquittance.
- Strictly formal. You know that you are not considered a bro to a person if your hands are shook in this manner.

2. The normal+spin+calit ibu jari handshake.
- Used when greeting 3rd level bros.
- This may also be used to quickly forge a close caring relationship between one bro and another bro who are not that close. A bro will see your act of calit ibu jari as a sign that you want to take your relationship to the next level.

3. The normal+spin+calit ibu jari+pull hands while each others palm are touching together+knuckle knock handshake.
- Used when greeting 2nd level bros.

4. The normal+spin+pulling each other closer and rub chest against one another handshake.
- Used when greeting 1st level bros.
-This can also be used to thank level 2 and level 3 bros for any act of kindness that these bros may have done for me.

5. The normal+spin+pulling each other closer+gently rub each other's cheeks against one another handshake.
- When a bro performs this kind of handshake to a girl, it is considered normal and shows a certain level of closeness between the said bro and the girl. However if a bro does this to another bro....
- Then the bro who did this is a very gay bro and is considered as such.
- Also used by any and every middle-eastern guys. *special mention: Straight Bangladeshi guys hold hands while walking.

How to achieve your dreams.

2011-04-13T19:00:00.001+08:00

I am 23 years old this year. I feel old. When I was 21, I felt I was at the pinnacle of my youth. When I was 22, I told myself, "22 is not that far away from 21, you're still young". In 3 months time I'll be 23. Whats in my head you ask? Well...nothing really..its just that I AM GETTING OLD!!!! And I just realized, I have accomplished ZILCH dreams.

Dreams:
1. Form a band. be bigger than The Beatles (Ah..young positivism)
2. 6 packs.
3. Find love of life
4. Learn to be good at playing football
5. Yes...this is a big one...ACT. I have always been a big fan of acting. I used to act in lame-as-hell/god-awful plays when I was in primary school. Loved it. Never had the confidence to pursue it. I am not good-looking.

How to achieve dreams 1 to 5
1. Never gonna happen
2. Never gonna happen
3. <3 Fiona
4.Never gonna happen (Although I am the manager of a football team)
5. HAHAHAHAAHHAHHHHAHAA. Yeah Right -.-"

How to really achieve dreams
Its 6.50pm. Its raining outside. My surroundings cannot BE more stressful. As I am typing this my left hand is reaching for my guitar to achieve #1, after that I'll be doing sit-ups to achieve #2, #3 done, #4....perhaps I can play a little football with my boys in the evening. For #5...hahaha.Perhaps one day :) I could have done all this when I was still 19 years old. BUT I DID NOT. I procrastinated and was generally very lazy. I talked a lot but never did anything to realize my dreams. Now I'm 23. I realized although I am still very young, time is running out. So if anyone reads this and has yet to achieve a dream or two, straighten the fuck up, stand tall, go chase whatever it is you want to chase. Start now, seize the moment, be the man, let them balls roam freely and show the fucking world what you're made of :) GOODLUCK!

The perks of being a lawyer.

2011-04-10T03:14:00.002+08:00

Here I am. Stuck at being a law student. I suck at being a law student.Why do you suck at being a law student you may ask. Simple. Because it is B.O.R.I.N.G. Okay, personal rantings aside, when I really think about it, being a lawyer CAN be interesting. Not WILL, not IT IS GOING TO but CAN be interesting. Heres why:

1. You get to wear smart clothing, look sharp and buy expensive suits. This is vital so that A: You wont commit contempt of court B: Clients trust you. Looking like failed person in life wont get you many clients. Zegna suits, here I come :)

2. You get to use bombastic words to explain the simplest of things. This will mean that you will always sound smart. Go to McDoonalds, you order a Big Mack but the numbskull behind the counter gives you a McChicky. You eat the burger anyways but soon you develop an allergy. You call the owner and threaten him with a lawsuit. "You sir, as a superior towards your subordinates, are vicariously responsible towards the actions of your subordinates" Vicariously. Fuyooo =.="

3. You get to dramatize your life..and look cool Dylan Mcdermott style. Picture this. You're at a wedding. You're eating. Suddenly your phone rings. You pick up the call. You number 2 (refer to point number 2) your friggin ass off. Everyone at the table looks at you in sheer suspense. You get up, wipe your face and say oh so dramatically: "I have to save someone from the death penalty. I believe he's innocent". You say this with so much tension and drama in your face that you make the people around you feel constipated. You get up and rush towards your car, face all tensed. Drama.

4. You get to have the words" *Name goes here* Advocate and Solicitor, High Court of Malaya" on your name card. That in itself is friggin cool.

For me personally, the best part of being a lawyer is to able to make a difference in someone's life. Doctors call themselves healers. They call themselves life savers. I honestly believe that they have the right to claim all that because in all honesty, thats what they do. How about lawyers. What can we call ourselves? Are we healers? Are we life savers?

We may not be healers or lifesavers but believe me, we can make a difference in someone's life. Maybe in the future I'll help prevent an innocent man from being hanged for a crime he didn't commit. If something like that ever happens, I will know that I gave a woman another chance to call someone her husband, a mother and father another chance to call someone their son and a few kids another chance to call someone their father.

If that day ever comes, I will smile and think to myself: Law School is shit. But I'll be glad to be swimming in chest high shit if it meant that I'll have the chance to make a difference.

Benar kata-katamu Hang Tuah, tetapi...

2011-03-28T02:30:00.002+08:00

Apabila aku melihat cermin, aku dapat melihat dengan jelas ciri-ciri muka aku. Hidung aku mancung, kulit aku cerah, rambut aku bewarna cokelat gelap. Apabila aku menulis, aku perasan yang aku lebih selesa menulis dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Apabila aku berbual dengan rakan-rakanku, perbualan aku akan diselang-seli dengan Bahasa Malaysia dan Bahasa Inggeris.

Apabila aku menonton wayang, aku perasan yang kebanyakan filem yang ditonton aku adalah filem berbahasa Inggeris. Apabila aku membeli CD lagu, aku perasan kebanyakan CD yang aku beli adalah CD band-band dari luar negara.

Aku melihat di sekeliling aku. Aku perasan yang bukan aku seorang sahaja yang menjalani kehidupan seharian seperti ini. Bukan aku seorang sahaja yang makin melupakan asal-usul diri aku.

Tetapi apabila aku fikir balik, aku tidak setuju dengan diri aku sendiri. Aku bukan Melayu yang lupa diri. Aku hanya seorang Melayu yang menerima adat dan bahasa kaum lain sebagai sebahagian dari diri aku.

Aku sedih apabila aku melihat kaum-kaum di negara aku bergaduh sesama sendiri. Aku tidak salahkan sesiapa dalam hal ini. Bukan semua orang sempurna. Aku seorang Melayu yang bangga akan keturunan aku, tetapi aku tidak pernah, tidak akan dan tidak mungkin menganggap diri aku sebagai tuan di negara aku sendiri kerana negara ini bukan aku yang punya. Negara ini bukan kaum aku yang punya.

Negara ini milik seluruh rakyat Malaysia.

Tetapi ini tidak bermakna aku akan mengetepikan kaum aku sendiri. Kelak apabila aku sudah berjaya dan Insyallah kaya raya, akan aku gunakan harta bendaku, tenaga dan kudratku untuk memastikan kaum aku berdiri sama tinggi, duduk sama rendah dengan kaum-kaum lain di negara ini. Ini janjiku.

Orang Melayu bukan kaum yang lemah. Orang Melayu dahulu merupakan pahlawan, satria gagah perkasa yang menakluk wilayah-wilayah di Nusantara ini untuk menubuhkan Kesultanan Melayu Melaka.

Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia. Ya Hang Tuah, benar kata-katamu itu. Tetapi apa gunanya kewujudan kita jika kita hanya mampu melihat orang lain menjadi tuan si hamba.

I have the need, the need, for me to be awesome.

2011-02-03T02:52:00.001+08:00

2010 went by without much hype. I promised myself about a year ago that 2010 was going to be the year I made something of myself. That did not happen. I'm already 23. 9 out of 10 people will say that 23 is still a very young age. My future is still in front of me. Well to those 9 out of 10 people, I think you are wrong.

Kurt Cobain became world famous, became the voice of a generation, sold millions of records worldwide and died of a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. All that before reaching the age of 28. He died when he was 27 years old, 17 years ago.

If I want to be awesome and turn my life around from being practically nothing to something, this is the time.

I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to be awesome. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to be awesome at but I do know one thing, I don't want to be Mr.Nobody.

In the wise words of Eminem, success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not.

Why guys should go to prom night naked.

2011-01-14T15:55:00.003+08:00

I was at the foodcourt near my apartment, sitting alone while waiting for my take-away fried rice. I took out my phone and I went online. I signed into my twitter account and read the time line...and then I saw it.

"Law night is near, what should I wear" or something along that line.

It was posted by a girl. That particular tweet got me thinking. Girls have so many options. Here's a list of what they could wear to Law Night 2011:

1. Prom Dress
2. Evening Gown
3.Gown
4.Cocktail Dress
5.Homecoming Dress
6.Formal Dress
7.Maxi Dress
8.Sun Dress
9. Mini Skirt (Drools)
10. Sheath Dress
11.Baju Kebaya
12.Baju Kurung
13.Cheongsam

Now, compare that with what guys would wear.

1. Pants
2. Shirt

Pants and shirt...and that's about it. Perhaps one could dress up a bit more by wearing a vest or a blazer on top of their shirts but basically, its pants and shirt. The girls will have at least 13 types of dresses to wear for our annual law night. There will be no two girls wearing the the same dress on that night. But believe you me, there will be at least 150 guys with the same shit outfit comprising of....you guessed it:

Pants and Shirt.

So if you are a guy who takes pride in TRYING to be as individualistic as possible, perhaps you should go to law night naked....because that's the only way you can be sure you'll "dress up" a bit differently from the other 150 guys that night.

Birthday...Suit Up!

I am a religious person so I reserve the right to humiliate you in public.

2010-12-23T02:00:00.004+08:00

I am a religious person so I reserve the right to humiliate you in public. There's something wrong with that sentence. I see an ounce of irony. You are religious, but you humiliate people in public so that they would return to the path of righteousness.

The government's effort to curb vice and immoral activities in Malaysia is worthy of recognition. Everyday I hear stories of religious officers busting sex-parties, raiding cheap hotels and rented flats in order to locate and prosecute Muslims who commit the sin of khalwat ie close proximity between a guy and a girl that may lead to a sexual escapade and zina ie fornication. Oh lets not forget booze parties where young so called Muslim youths get drunk..and then have sex.

Ah yes, the noble effort of a select group of individuals who are, judging by the kopiah on their head, religious and of high moral, to save the youths of today from the ways of Satan.

The reason of my ranting? A few days ago, a friend showed me a video that was allegedly taken during an anti-vice raid on a Muslim couple accused of khalwat. Number one, why was a video recording made? Number two, why was the woman not given a chance to cover herself up properly and instead told to cover herself with the thin bed-sheet she was sitting on. Number three why was the male anti-vice raiders (I'm not sure whether the raiders were government officers or just a group of kampung people conducting their own self-sanctioned raid) interviewing the girl in the room? Why wasn't a female "room raider" present?

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the religious raids because I truly believe that they are needed to curb immoral activities among the youths of today but my god why oh why do you need to be so rude to all the alleged wrongdoers?

You want to guide people to the path of righteousness. You want to set a good example for them to follow. You want to rehabilitate them. So why are you humiliating them?

In all honesty, what bugs me the most is not the fact that they weren't nice to the sinners.What bugs me the most is that they are painting a wrong image of Islam. What would non-Muslims think when they see supposedly religious high-moral individuals treating a half naked girl like an animal and interviewing her under bright lights on a bed, half naked.

Instead of upholding the purity of Islam, these so called warriors of religion are making Islam look like a religion of hate, a religion that's based on fear, not love.

The sinners made a mistake, yes. They are human. That's what humans do. They make mistakes. Your job is to GUIDE them back to the path of righteousness, not to HUMILIATE and SCARE THE LIVING SHIT out of them. Guide with love, the result will be long and the transformation would be pure and sincere. You guide with fear, the moment you die, they will go back to their old ways because guess what, their transformation was made out of fear NOT FAITH. I hate it when I hear non-Muslims talk about how Islam is a religion based on fear and not through pure faith.

A son who obeys his father because of his father's beatings will forget about the man as soon as he dies and will never pray for him nor will he visit his father's grave. A son who obeys his father because of his father's love, will continue to cherish his father, long after his death, and will pray for him and visit his father's grave for as long as he live. I truly believe in that.

Yes, you are a religious person, a man of god but you do not have the right to humiliate people in public. Are you guaranteed heaven? Of course not. So stop acting like you are.

Why gay guys used to scare the living shit out of me.

2010-12-07T03:09:00.002+08:00

No I am not gay, period.

I used to distance myself from gay guys. I never really had any problem with them, its just that I've never felt comfortable being near them. Here's why:

1. Gay guy says hye
My head says: Shit, he loves me.

2. Gay guy being nice to me.
My head says: Shit, he wants me.

3. Gay guy invites me for a cup of coffee.
My head says: Shit, he's going to spike my drink and take me home.

I was 15 when I had my first encounter with a gay dude. He was my schoolmate, I was the new kid in school. This particular gay dude kept on harassing me, verbally mind you. Truth be told, I wasn't just annoyed, I was scared too. It's weird. Why would I be scared of a dude who probably had a pair of hidden fake boobs? He talks walks and acts like a girl but I still get scared shitless if I bumped into him at some corridor, alone.

Three years later, I entered University and as fate would have it, one of my housemates was of course, as if it was a sick joke, gay. He cannot be anymore gayer. He wore bright colored clothing and had multi-colored underwear. I know this because he hung his laundry at our common drying area.

I was of course, uncomfortable. After a while, I asked him, whether he liked staying with us. I reckoned he did because we're a goodlooking bunch (hahahahahha!). He said he did, so I proceeded to ask him an even more daring question:

"Do you feel anything seeing us shirtless and stuff, like how a guy would feel when he sees a girl topless?"

The sick bastard laughed and said:

"Do you honestly think I'm into you? Please, you are so not my type, and you're not goodlooking enough"

Hambik kau Faisal, kena sebijik.

Ahhhh...So I thought to myself, gay guys have types too...like us straight guys...and here I am thinking that gay guys like ALL men.

So then I told myself, Faisal, you self obsessed wank, When a gay dude says hye, he probably means "Hye" and when he asks you out for a cup of coffee, he probably wants to hang out and chill with you over a cup of coffee. He doesn't want to spike your drink and take you home to have his way with you.

That was 5 years ago. Now I have no problems being friends with gay guys. They are actually an interesting lot to be with and talk to.

I pride myself for not being a racist or a sexist. I pride myself for not judging a book by its cover. So why the hell should I discriminate against a group of people just because they happen to prefer broad shoulders and furry chests over a curvy body and ruby red lips?

I know there's always the religious issue but believe me, non of us, and I mean non of us, is qualified to judge another human being. It is not our place. So before any of you pass judgement, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, am I guaranteed paradise? Am I a hundred percent sure I'm going to heaven? If the answer is (and it will be) no, than in my opinion, you should concentrate on saving your own place in heaven and let god deal with this lot.

When a baby name dies.

2010-10-28T15:55:00.004+08:00

I was chatting with Putri about her niece, Baby PJ or Baby Putri Junior. Baby PJ remained nameless for the first two weeks of her life. After three weeks of being a citizen of the world, Baby PJ was finally named *a really modern name goes here*.

So then it got me thinking. If this was the current trend of names, than I may be the last of the Ahmad Faisals. I am, an endangered species.

It may, no wait...not may...It WILL happen sooner or later. I am going to categorize names that used to be popular.

Ultra Classic Malay Names:

1. Jantan -
Eg: Putera Jantan Bin Osman Rani

How it used to be: ultra manly name of its time. It denotes masculinity and strength.
How it is now : weird name, whereupon if a modern baby was named this, he would be the butt of jokes.

Dania: Hye Jantan *holding back laughter*
Putera Jantan: Kenapa you macam nak tergelak?
Dania: Takde apa la you *holding back laughter*
Putera Jantan: It's my name isn't it...
Dania: hahahahahahhaa.

2. Names that pay homage to days -
Eg. Abu bin Isnin, Mat Lazim bin Mat Kamis, Radhi bin Sabtu.

How it used to be: a normal name that is absolutely not out of the ordinary.
How it is now : If a modern baby was named one of these names...this will happen.

Thursday,7th October 2020.
Dania: Eh you hari ni hari apa?
Mat Kamis : .....ntah...
Daniel Ariff: Bro, cakapla..hari ini hari apa...
Mat Kamis: ....ntah.....
Whole Class: Hari ini hari mat KAMIS!!!! *All around laughter*
Mat Kamis: Why dad..why...*crying*

Other classic names include Rosmidah, my dear aunty and Zabedah, my dear Opah. The thing about classic female names is that they don't sound as weird as classic male names and some are still in popular use to this very day. But I have realized one thing, female names that ends with the letter 'H' are becoming less and less common. People would instead get rid of the 'H' and end it with an 'A'.

Eg:

Amirah - Amira
Munirah - Munira
Sarah - Sara (That's you put!) haha

I have to agree that getting rid of the 'H' does make a name look and sound more modern, not to mention more feminine.

Then we come across to my generation. When I was born, the trend was to name babies with Islamic names. Ahmad Faisal. It can't get anymore Islamic than that. This trend has actually been around for a while. But I realized that it's a dying trend.

Nowadays names are sounding less Islamic but the cool part is that they have beautiful Islamic meanings. Here are some examples:

1.(Girl) Reyhana (My dear gendot baby cousin) - meaning: Sweet smelling flower of paradise.
2.(Girl) Zara - meaning: Bright as dawn.
3.(Boy) Rayyan (My other dear baby cousin) - meaning: One of the gates of paradise.
4.(Boy) Danial - meaning: Intelligent.

Names are getting more and more less Islamic sounding, gone are the days where newborns are named Abdullah Al-Amin or Saidatul Aqqilah or even perhaps Ahmad Faisal.

But I am proud of my name. My mom told me I was named after a great King, Al-Maliq Faisal of Saudi Arabia. It may not be the most modern name but it sure is my favorite :)

How to screw up a first date.

2010-10-26T16:21:00.004+08:00

I was having my usual teh tarik session with Lilliane when we came across the topic of dates. It was just a random topic and I told her my first date strategy. Please note that I have not hit on a girl in three long years, the last time was when I was 19 years old so my strategies can be a bit.....what's the word...lame.

Sal's first date strategy:
1. Magic tricks.
2. Fancy restaurant.
3. SUIT UP! okay not suit up per se but wear smart clothing, shoes etc.
4. Try to sound cool.
5. Be Barney Stinson.

Lil's comment on Sal's first date strategy:
1. NO MAGIC TRICKS
2. Bring girl in question to some place casual with a relaxed environment.
3. SUIT DOWN- You don't wanna look like you're trying too hard.
4. Don't try to sound cool. - You will instead sound like a complete retard.
6. Be Ted Mosbey instead.

So after a long and thoughtful discussion, we said our goodnights. On my way home, while listening to John Mayer's A love song for no one, I thought long and hard about what needs to be done on a first date. It's not like I have someone to go on a first date with right now but what if one day, the time finally comes for me to go out on a first date with a girl.

What should I do?

My 5 first date strategies will do nothing but screw up my first date. It's 5 ways to screw up a first date.

I thought about my first date strategies, all the five seemed so right when I thought of them in my head but when I verbally laid it out to Lil, she wasn't very impressed. In all honesty, neither was I. My First Date strategy was nothing but L.A.M.E.

When I reached home to the sound of Eminem's Beautiful, I thought to myself and sighed a sigh of contempt and told myself, "Dude, just be yourself. You want a girl to like you because of who you are, not what you plan to be"

So if you like trash metal bands, bring a girl to a trash metal gig. If you like farting in front of people, don't be a fucking idiot and fart in front of her. Respect the girl, be true to you and above all else, be sincere with all your heart.

Unlike most guys who simply cannot see past the mid-chest section of girls, a girl see's past the eyes, into the soul. You don't need to be Barney Stinson or Ted Moseby, you just need to be *insert own name here*.

If you are sincere, she'll see past all your lameness. If you just want to get laid and she accepts, than say hello to STDs.

HIV bukan untuk diwarisi, jalanilah saringan HIV di klinik atau hosptal kerajaan berdekatan, Salam 1Malaysia -.-" <-- lame.haha.

Characteristics of Malay Jocks aka "Lelaki Hek"

2010-10-16T16:50:00.005+08:00

Jocks. We see them in American teen movies and dramas. They may be different individuals but all of them have a few things in common: All of them are athletic, all of them are muscular, all of them are as stupid as f**k and last but not least, all of them are popular.

So lets take a look at the local context of "jocks". My sister and I call these type of guys "Lelaki Hek".

They talk walk stalk and conduct themselves in very very similar ways. I am an observer. I always observe people and as a result, I have short-listed a few "lelaki hek" characteristics.

Characteristics of "Lelaki Hek"

1. Name Dropping.
They name drop as soon as they find out you go to the same college as one of their many friends.
example:
"Hey, u belajar college mana?"
"Oh I belajar dekat Beautiful Brunettes Academy of Langkawi, Be.B.A.L."
"Oh, I tau, kawan I ada pergi situ...you kenal Azura?"
"Tak"
"Oh, you kenal Lina?"
"Tak"
"Oh you kenal...."
*15 names later*
".....Oh you kenal....." It never stops.

Why they do this? To show girls they know a lot of people thus showing how popular they are.

2. Showing off how many friends they have, in a very subtle way.

Guy: Hey, you wanna hang out tonight?
Girl: Hmmm, I'm not sure? Can I reconfirm?
Guy: Okay,but be sure to let me know A.S.A.P..
Girl: Oh ya? why?
Guy: Sebab I kena book 8 table...

Normal hang out session.8 tables.Hmmm....

3. The way they dress.

i. Tight Clothes.
ii.Tight pants.
iii. Raised Collar (Collar tajam ke atas)
iv. White, narrow and pointy shoes.
v. Huge belt buckle (Front of shirt always tucked behind huge belt buckle to really make huge belt buckle stand out)

4. The way they stylize their hair/facial hair.

i. Fake Mohawk aka Fauxhawk.
ii.The little patch of hair immediately below their lower lips (They shave all except this tiny patch of hair).
iii.Too much perfume.
iv. Silver Jewelry (The "C" shaped metal bangle is the most common)

5. THE ULTIMATE LELAKI HEK CHARACTERISTIC:

Now, this particular characteristic is not shared by all "Lelaki Heks". Only a select few of ridiculously high "hek" levels share this characteristic. And that particular characteristic is:

i. Wearing sunglasses indoors.

Ok there you have it, characteristics of "Lelaki Hek" :)

The Gym: A place where straight guys become slightly gay.

2010-10-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

So there I was with The Wingman. It was our first time at a swanky "professional" gym. We were excited. We were full of energy.

Fate has finally brought us to this gym. It must have been at least 3 years since I first uttered the words "This year I'm gonna join a gym and workout!!!!" It took at least 3 years for those words to become a reality.

Anyways, here is why a gym is a place where straight guys become slightly gay:

Location: GYM FLOOR.

1. EyeBalling other guys.

This happens. A lot. I have seen completely straight guys (based on assumption mind you, there's no telling whether they're straight or not but by the looks of them, they are normal heterosexual males) eyeballing other guys.

They eyeball tough toned muscular dudes..and admire their bodies..I heard a guy say to his friend "I love his body"..wth man.

But this...I have to admit...I too, look at bodies of tough guys. BUT STRICTLY FOR INSPIRATION. seriously. I like girls, period.

Location: LOCKER ROOM.

1.Vanity level goes up..way up. - This happened In front of a huge wall mirror.

"Bro, look at my biceps man, the protein shake really worked"

"Seriously, its huge man"

2. Where a grown man asks another grown man to touch him...tenderly.

This happened in the locker room, near the sauna.

"Eh bro...how's my abs? Are they visible?"

"Yeah, I can really see them"

"Touch them, see how firm they are"

"Yeah man, sure"

"Be careful, don't press too hard..it still hurts a bit" (Please please please "it still hurts a bit" from working out and not some lewd activity)

Oh.My.God.

So there you have it. A gym is full of tough guys? Hell no man. A gym is full of little daisy loving baby girls in men suits.

How to move on from a 2 year relationship in a month.

2010-10-11T02:13:00.001+08:00

Well here is a list of things a person, and by person I mean I, have to do for me to get over a 2 year relationship within a month.

1 Keep in constant touch with your own personal friend-based SUPPORT GROUP.
2.Listen to Eminem and relate the shit state you're in to his lyrics, It'll make you feel better.
3.Stop stalking the ex's Facebook page.
4.Stop all means of contact with the ex.
5.Cheesecake. Eat all the cheesecake in the world, comfort food.
6.Go out and meet new people.
7.Smoke Marlboro Reds.
8.Smoke some more Marlboro Reds.
9.Smoke a few more Marlboro Reds.
10. Too much Marlboro Reds, than settle for Marlboro Lights.

There you go, ten easy steps to get over a 2 year relationship over a period of one month.

Or is it?

It's not. I did all and it still hurts as much as hell.

After much thought, I came to a conclusion that there is no such thing as getting over a girl you loved with all your heart over a pre-defined period of time.

They only way to get over a 2 year relationship is by doing absolutely nothing at all. Time heals. Even if it seems like no amount of time will ever heal a broken beaten battered heart, believe me, thats the only thing that can help you.

In the meantime, I'll just wait for that special someone, the girl of my dreams to suddenly and dramatically appear and make me the happiest guy alive. I'm waiting for that one special girl who would love me with all her heart.

Because Dear non-existing-girl-of-my-dreams, whoever you are, wherever you are, the moment you come into my life,whenever that time may be, I will love you, with nothing less than all my heart. I may not know how to party hard or to compose a love laced sweet sweet musical serenade, but I sure as hell know how to love.

As I lay on my bed listening to a love song for no one, I thought to myself:

I don't know who you are, where you live, where you come from or what you do for a living, but Dear Girl-Of-My-Dreams, I'm going to find you one day and give you nothing short of the world. I mean it.

Heart shaped pendant

2010-08-30T05:12:00.000+08:00

A crystal heart shaped pendant
Not for me, But for thee

A crystal heart shaped pendant
Bought for no one known to me

A crystal heart shaped pendant
I will wear till I finally find thee

Whoever you are
Wherever you are

When that day finally comes
Than I'll fasten it around your neck

With it you'll have my heart
With the blessings from up above
My very being
And my undivided unadulterated love.

My mom is my dad's murukku.

2010-08-27T20:18:00.000+08:00

My dad is an avid fan of murukku. I can see that when he is eating his murukku, he cuts a peaceful figure, watching Buletin Utama, with his kain pelikat and omnipresent baju pagoda.

My parents are sitting in front of me. My dad is sitting like an Indian Maharaja, legs on coffee table and his hands folded behind his head. My mom is sitting on the floor in front of my dad, with her arms on my dad's lap,crossing it.

My mom and dad has been married for 25 years. I have never seen my dad raise his voice against my mom and vice versa. My dad almost never calls my mom by her name. He would only call her by her name if he's joking around. He would call her Che Yah, just to spike my mom off for no reason. When my mom makes a sour face, he would than laugh his heart out and look at us, expecting us to join him laughing. Most of the time we would.

My dad would almost exclusively call my mom "yang", short form for "sayang". My mom would interchange the words she used to call my dad. Sometimes she calls him abang, ayah or darling. But most of the time she would use the word "yang"

My dad's number in my mom's phone is saved as "Darl"

My mom's number, in my dad's phone is saved as "Zahirah"

You would think my dad would be the less romantic of the two but believe me, my mom is my dad's murukku: He can't live without her. There was this one time my mom went out for a foot massage with my uncle and aunty. Ten minutes passed until my dad finally lost it:

"Call mama..tanya bila nak balik..dah lewat ni"

My dad, the usually ridiculously early sleeper waited for my mom to come home before he finally went to bed. My mom came home within an hour but faham faham sahajalah..kalau sepuluh minit keluar pun dah suruh call tanya bila nak balik...one hour must have felt like eons to him.

I pray to god that I too, will have a relationship with my future wife that is as loving and cute as my parents :)

What it's like to be a brother.

2010-08-25T15:12:00.001+08:00

I am a brother to three people. I am an elder for two, and a younger for one.

When my little brother oversteps the boundaries of morality and respect, than a tight slap will be given. My parents won't ever slap him so it's up to me to teach him a lesson. It works. He may be all grown up but whenever I see him, I still see the baby boy I used carry in my arms. I know him inside and out. His ego is phenomenal. So whether I like it or not, I have to be extremely hard with this particular fellow.

My elder brother protected me from bullies in school and at times even took the bullet for me. I never told him this, and he probably wont ever find out since he never reads my blog but he is literally my hero. Whenever a major decision is to be made, there are three people who I would always ask first. My parents, and him.

If he says yes to something, than there will be no doubt in my mind. Because I have always believed that he knows best. But he nags a lot. More than my mother and father combined.

When my little sister does something wrong that I cannot accept, than I will nag to her like there's no tomorrow. I will shout at her and use the most shall we say, "cruel" words imaginable. To teach her a lesson and make sure she doesn't do it again. I have busted my ass for this particular cow so many times, but it's okay, because she's my sister.

I do lose my cool at times, I admit that but I am only human. That's one thing bad about me. My temper. But I am only temperamental when it comes to my siblings. I am always garang to them because of one simple reason. I want them to be better than everyone else.

That's the reason why it's okay if someone else comes home late or doesn't take a shower after playing badminton. It's their choice. It's their life. But when my siblings do it, sorry, it's not your life or your choice. You do something stupid, you're gonna get it from me.

Theres no such thing as jaga hati.

They may hate me for being the garang brother that I am, but I have one simple philosophy when it comes to being a brother.

Let them hate me for being strict, overprotective and garang, I don't mind because if anything ever happens to them, I'd be a broken man till the day I die and blame myself every single day. It's not easy being a brother. I'm only 22 and I have yet to reach full maturity, mentally speaking. I'm still a very young man but in front of my younger siblings, I try to be a full fledged "grown-up".

I know I may not be the best brother there is out there but I do love each and every one of you, with all my heart.

Are lawyers sexy?

2010-08-22T03:47:00.005+08:00

I was chatting with a friend of mine and I asked her one question:
Are fighter pilots sexy?
She answered almost instantly yes.

Now before you assume anything, it's not that I have a thing for male fighter pilots. I love girls. Period. It's just that there was this one time, I met a real life fighter pilot. There were girls around me at that time and the moment he left, all the girls said the same thing:

"So sexy"

So I asked them, what about lawyers? Are lawyers sexy?

They said No.

So it got me thinking. Why the hell not?

Have they not seen The Practice? Have they not seen Boston Legal? Have they not seen real life lawyers? With our sharp suits, polished leather shoes and swagger?

Someone told me lawyers are nerdy. Fine. We read a lot. But we're not pointdexters like accountants and engineers. All day cooped up in an air-conditioned office doing maths. Yes. maths. How cool is that?

I am not saying I am sexy, but as a future lawyer, I am out on a crusade to defend my future profession from being laughed at and labeled as a profession for nerds.

Here's a list I came up with. It's just what I think and I stand to be corrected!
(Rockstars, Actors, Supermodels, pro athletes etc not included..different level altogether)

Top 3 Cool:
1.Fighter Pilots - Theres no denying this man. Uber cool.
2.Doctors - Have you seen McDreamy and his crew saving people? Cool.
3.Lawyers - Have you seen Dylan McDermott in The Practice? Cool.

Top 3 Un-Cool:
1.Engineers - Maths, that's all they do.
2.Accountants - They audit companies. Need I say more. A.u.d.i.t.
3.Teachers - God bless them but all of us have terrorized or made at least one teacher cry during our schooldays. Getting bullied by a bunch of kids? Un-Cool.

So there you have it. Lawyers are sexy, apart from me of course. I am an exception, I am a self professed nerd who read books as a favorite past time. But in general, lawyers are sexy. We may dress up like penguins with our black and white attire but my god ladies and gentleman, we're damn stylish penguins, waddling our way to defend justice.....well, to defend justice in most cases at least....

Trust me, I'm a lawyer.

Tun Dr Mahathir Bin Mohamad.

2010-08-18T03:11:00.000+08:00

The grand old man of Malaysia.

Being a law student, I've heard about Tun Dr Mahathir's role in the 1988 constitutional crisis. Being a law student, I've heard about how the grand old man of Malaysia completely ignored the doctrine of the separation of powers. Being a law student, I've heard an earful of things negative about the former Prime Minister.

Being a Malaysian, I've seen the great things Tun Dr Mahathir did for the country. Being a Malaysian, I am living the comfortable life I am living because of him. Being a Malaysian, I have Tun Dr Mahathir to thank.

Being a Malay, I have seen how Tun Dr Mahathir helped his people. Being a Malay, I have seen how Tun Dr Mahathir fought for our rights. Being a Malay, I have also seen and heard some Malays calling him a traitor to his own people.

Tun Dr Mahathir Bin Mohamad. Loved and loathed by many. He may have done some wrong, but my god has he done so many rights. Look around you. Your comfortable life is testament to this.

When a man dies, the mark of his greatness can be seen by the sheer number of people that will shed tears during his funeral. When Tun Razak died, Malaysians of all color and creed queued up to attend his funeral and pay their last respects to his body, which was lying in state. He was a great man. A fighter and a patriot.

Believe me, when Tun Dr Mahathir finally leaves this world, Malaysia will cry. And so will I.

Embarrassing E-mail addresses: Evidence of the inner kid inside all of us.

2010-08-09T01:25:00.003+08:00

I am the proud account holder of a very childish e-mail address. It's a combination of my obsession with Star Wars and John Lennon. I'm very proud of my very childish and somewhat dumb e-mail address, no doubt...but one day, on the first day of my legal attachment...something happened...

Lawyer: Ok Faisal, I am going to send you a few documents for you to look at. I want you to study them and make the appropriate amendments.

Kid Law Student: Ok ma'am, no problem *childish smirk due to extreme excitement over getting proper "legal" assignment*

Lawyer: Alright, good boy. Give me your e-mail address.

Kid Law Student: *silent*

Lawyer: Faisal? Your e-mail address please?

You see, apart from my Star Wars/Lennon themed childish e-mail address, I also have one "professional" not-embarrassing e-mail address. One for play, and one for work. I would usually use my "professional e-mail address for "serious" matters. Problem was, I had difficulties accessing my "professional" e-mail address since the past few days. So I had no choice but to give her my Star Wars/Lennon themed e-mail address.

Kid Law Student: *mumbling dumb immature e-mail address*

Lawyer:.....come again...

Kid Law Student: *mumbling dumb immature e-mail address*

Lawyer:..*smiles*

Sigh..I went to the office looking my best. Crisp white shirt. Jet black slacks with a jet black tie to match...black leather shoes..looking like the real deal. I left the office feeling like a retarded 6 year old Star Wars geek.

Moral of the story: Create back up professional e-mail addresses. If you don't, and if you're a guy, and you kantoi with your senior, you will feel like nothing short of being emasculated.

People I know with their own personal theme songs.

2010-07-27T15:06:00.000+08:00

My head is a weird place, full of fantasies, dumb thoughts and music. There is so much music in my head that I have theme songs for the people in my life. For example, if I have a crush on a girl, than that girl will have a specific theme song. Whenever I hear her specific theme song on the radio or on youtube, I'd automatically think about her.

The same thing happens when she walks past by me and when my eyes are glued to her face. During the eyes glued to face period, the world seemed to move so slowly. It's almost like a powerful metaphysical force had pressed the "slowdown" button on life. And during this time, her theme song would play in my head. Sometimes, I'd subconsciously sing her song out loud, much to the annoyance of anyone around me, since my voice is toad like.

Top-5 Romantic theme songs for various people I know *wink wink*:

1. You'll be safe here - Rivermaya.

2. To be with you - Mr.Big.

3. Wonderwall - Oasis.

4. Warisan Wanita Terakhir - Teacher's Pet.

5. Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton.

Yes. The list is short. This is due to the fact that in my 22 years of living, I've only had 2 serious girlfriends, 1 meaningless fling and 1 serious crush.

How about you guys? What are your theme songs for your respective gf/bf's?

Top 5 Plate Number Idaman Saya.

2010-07-22T02:02:00.003+08:00

5.PU3-For future queen of heart.

4.AFR 7-Initials and favorite number.

3.WTF 7-Gangster sikit. Everyone knows what the acronym WTF stand for.

2.MAF14-Lagi gangster. Baru mafia betul!

1.JED1-For the star wars geek inside me :)

Most unwanted number plate: BAB1.

2nd most unwanted number plate:PEN15

Most wanted but impossible to get number plate: LFC 9. (LFC = Liverpool Football Club, 9 refers to Fernando Torres's jersey number)

Most disgusting number plate in existence: MAW1.

Coolest number plate seen: YAB PERDANA MENTERI MALAYSIA.

Longest number plate seen: YAB TIMBALAN PERDANA MENTERI MALAYSIA.

Whats your number idaman? haha

Happy Birthday.

2010-07-09T03:08:00.001+08:00

9th July 2010:

When I as a kid, I was taught that once a year on my birthday, I could make one birthday wish. Most of the time I'd ask for an action figure or two.

But today's not my birthday. So lets not talk about me.

What's the ultimate birthday wish? Is it a Bugatti Veyron? Or is it a mansion somewhere in the French countryside? What is the ultimate birthday wish? Is it a hundred billion US Dollars? Or is it a complete LV luggage set?

So what is the ultimate birthday wish?

B.O.B - Airplanes

What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So airplanes airplanes
Sorry I'm late
I'm on my way
So don't close that gate
If I don't make that
Then I switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it
By the end of the night

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now, wish right now

For me the ultimate birthday wish is the wish itself. That would give me the ultimate freedom to wish for anything. To define the meaning of a perfect gift, does nothing but to constrain it.

If you had one chance, what would be your perfect birthday wish?

Happy birthday . Pretend all the airplanes in the night skies are shooting stars, maybe you'll use them for a wish or two.

Kenapa manusia perlukan cinta.

2010-07-07T01:16:00.001+08:00

Kenapa manusia perlukan cinta?

Cinta datang

Cinta pergi

Cinta menyakitkan

Kenapa manusia perlukan cinta?

Cinta membuatkan kita menangis

Cinta membuatkan kita buta

Jadi kenapa manusia perlukan cinta?

Tanpa cinta kita mati

Tanpa cinta kita cuma sekujur tubuh kaku

Tanpa Perasaan

Tanpa Jiwa

Tapi bagi aku jawapanya bukan seribu

Aku perlukan cinta

Hanya kerana satu

Kerana aku mahu kamu.

Saying goodbye to a peach tree.

2010-07-02T17:22:00.003+08:00

I once had a peach tree. Peach trees are rare in Malaysia, perhaps even non-existent. But I had my own personal peach tree.

It was a very special tree. If I had any problems or when my mind is messed up, I'd go to my peach tree and find solace there. When life gave me lemons, my peach tree gave me the sweetest peaches there is. It made the overwhelming sourness of the lemons go away.

One day, I went to my peach tree. When I arrived, I saw my peach tree all fenced up, behind a metal fence with barbed wires. On the fence there was a sign. It read:

"Goodbye Faisal, I can't be your peach tree anymore"

Before I went away, I hung a small piece of paper on that metal fence. It read:

"Goodbye Peachy. Thank You for being there for me whenever I needed you. I'm gonna miss you. Love,Booky"

So I left my own personal peach tree. As I walked away I smiled a faint smile, and a single drop of tear fell from my eye.

But then I paused. I turned around and looked back at my own personal peach tree. I smiled again and quietly whispered to myself..

"You'll be safe here"

My Dad, the ultra hip uber cool modern father of....the 1950's.

2010-06-26T14:02:00.004+08:00

When my dad was a student in the 70's, he was pretty fashionable. He wore bell-bottom pants, platform shoes and leather bracelets. Not to mention his long curly hair, reminiscent of Slash, the legendary lead guitarist from Guns N Roses.

Slash remained looking like Slash but as was the case for my dear father, age caught up with him and he now looks pretty much like how a 53 year old father of 4 looks like:

How a 53 Year Old Father of 4 looks like:

1.Polo Shirts.

2.Polo Shirts tucked in khaki pants.

3.Omnipresent Mont Blanc pen in pocket.

4.Glasses.

5.Crocs (A must due to omnipresent back-ache)

6.Looks nothing like Slash.

My mother, on the other hand, is more hip and happening. She uses all sorts of modern acronyms if you will, when messaging with my dad. However, there are certain acronyms which my dad don't understand....

Modern Acronyms my dad don't understand:

1."OMG"- I messaged my dad the price of my final year textbooks which totaled to RM960. "OMG ayah, textbooks will set you back RM960". My dear father promptly replied: "Please tell me what is OMG"

2".XOXO"- My mom was bored at home so she texted my dad at work, she sent him "XOXO". My dad did not understand the meaning of" XOXO". So he sent back "YOYO" to my mom, for god knows what reason. At home, as we were explaining to him what "XOXO" was, he told us,and of course he made this up:

"I know what XOXO is..Ayah saja ja antaq YOYO..which stands for "Yang Oi, Yang Oi".

3."LOL".- We all know that" LOL" stands for Laugh Out Loud. Unfortunately, my dad does not. My dad was chairing a meeting one day when my mom texted him. He did not reply because he was chairing a meeting so when he finally replied, my mom sent a "LOL, its okay" type of message. My dad, misconstrued LOL as being "Lembap Oi Lembap" and promptly replied to my dear mother: "Sampai hati you kata I lembap oi lembap"

So that's my dad. The ultra hip uber cool modern father of the....1950's. I love my father dearly. He's not the most modern dad out there but in my opinion, he is, by far, the best dad anyone could ever have. =).

When Royalty Rents Out Their Personal Toilets For Money

2010-06-24T19:57:00.002+08:00

So there I was in Medan, Indonesia. I was feeling sick and nauseous due to the thought of the flight back home the next day. I have a fear of flying. I wasn't feeling very good and I just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep.

However Pak Supardji (I changed his name on purpose), our tour guide had other plans for us. He brought us to Istana Maimoon. It was a splendid palace built on a sprawling piece of land. The palace wasn't that grand. It's nothing like Istana Iskandariah in Kuala Kangsar or Istana Besar in Johor Bahru, but it had this old world charm to it.

A long story cut short, after visiting the balairong seri etc, as I was making my way down from the grand steps towards our tourist van (or van pariwisata in Indonesian), I saw my brother and father make way for the royal quarters. I wanted yelled at them:

"Ayah!! That's where the royal family live! You cannot go there!"

See, the descendants of the Malay Sultans of Deli still lived in the palace, and according to the curator, the royal quarters were off limits. But my dad and brother had other plans. They wanted to use the loo.When a man has to go, than he has to go, come rain or shine. I was waiting for a security guard to tell them off or at least stop them from going towards the royal quarters.

To my surprise, a security guard who was standing nearby just looked at them and did absolutely nothing.

I waited for them to come back. When they finally came back, my brother told me that the people who were operating the toilet were the royal family. A sharp imaginary stab of a dagger went straight through my heart.

In Indonesia, the royal family of the Malay Sultans of Deli are not given a single cent as allowance. I learned that the museum curator, the person who collected donations for the palace and the toilet operator were all part of the royal family.

The government does not give them a single cent to maintain the palace. The fund for the maintenance of the palace was solely derived from public donations, and also through the selling of various souvenirs.

What saddens me is that the Sultans of Deli were Malay Sultans. Some of them actually married Malay princesses from Perak. The museum curator was a direct descendant of one of the princesses from Perak that had married into the Deli Royal Family. His grandmother currently lives in Kuala Kangsar.

My brother and I told him about how the royal family here lived in absolute wealth. Not just the Sultans and their immediate family members, but also their extended family members. I told Pak Supardji that the Sultans here in Malaysia use Bentleys and Maybachs as modes of transportation. We explained high and low about the high status of royalty here.

Pak Supardji's melancholic reply was short but full of meaning:

"The royalty here rents out their toilets for money to eat"

Why I use the Malaysian flag as drapes for my bedroom window.

2010-06-22T00:33:00.003+08:00

I saw a dude flying a German flag on his car. Great show of support for the German national team. What's wrong with this guy? He flies a German flag on Malaysian soil. This guy flies a German flag instead of a Malaysian flag on Malaysian soil. Some might say he's just being a regular guy whose into football @ The World Cup. Some might say that it's just his way of letting the world know that Bastian Schweinsteiger is his hero. But for me, flying a foreign flag on your home soil, instead of flying yours, for whatever reason, is just plain disrespectful.

Try flying a German flag in front of an army veteran who tried fighting away the Japanese during World War 2. Fly the German flag in front of a widow whose husband died in the jungles fighting off communists during the emergency. Show them that the youths of today spat on the sacrifices of these men in arms by refusing to fly the Malaysian flag and instead, fly the flag of a country that has done nothing for us that is worth a mention.

I fly the Malaysian flag proudly in my room and on my car. Every Merdeka, my family would proudly hoist the Malaysian flag on a metal pole for a whole month. Fly the Malaysian flag and let the world know how proud you are of this country, our country. Tanah Tumpahnya darah kita.

I use the Malaysian flag as drapes for my bedroom window for one simple reason. Because I love my country. Maybe I'm overreacting but seeing a Malaysian dude, proudly flying the flag of Germany makes me want to smack him on the forehead.

Love this country. Appreciate what the freedom fighters and our men in arms had done for us. They did what they did, they sacrificed their family and even their lives so that the future generation of Malaysians would have their own national anthem, their own flag to fly and most importantly, a place to call home.

Make the sacrifices of the soldiers and policeman who died in the line of duty worthwhile. Show your respect for our heroes by flying the flag of the country they fought for.

I quote the writings found on the Tugu Negara:

"Dedicated to the heroic fighters in the cause of peace and freedom. May the blessing of Allah be upon them"

Amin.

Why I think feminists are funny people.

2010-04-22T22:41:00.004+08:00

What They Do Part 1:

They spend so many time trying to show the world that woman are capable of doing jobs that are normally associated with men.

What They Actually Show Part 1:

They are actually agreeing to the fact that males are superior by demonstrating that they too at present time, can achieve something that the male species had achieved tens or even hundreds of years ago.

What They Do Part 2:

They keep on saying woman can be world leaders too! They give examples such as Margaret Thatcher, Gloria Aroyyo and Khaleda Zia. Sometimes when they really want to prove a point, they name each and every present female head of states.

What They Actually Show Part 2:

They are highlighting that as of now (22nd April 2010) out of 195 countries, only 24 are headed by females. Which means that only roughly 12% of the world are headed by females. When I say 24, 3 are actually headed by royalty ie Her Majesties The Queens of England, Netherlands and Denmark. If I was to count only elected representatives, that would make the total number of elected female head of states a grand 10.7%.

What They Do Part 3:

They keep on questioning why they are discriminated against. Why is everything dominated by males. Why are they not given the chance to prove that they too, are well qualified.

What They Actually Show Part 3:

They highlight the fact they are subordinate to men. They are actually highlighting their own weaknesses.

I am of the opinion that girls are just as intelligent and just as capable as guys, if not better. They are the reason why there are so many successful guys out there. Tun Dr Mahathir would not be, and I guarantee you this, the man he is today if Tun Dr Siti Hasmah wasn't there for him in his time of need. At home, my mom is the backbone of my dad. My girlfriend holds me and comforts me in my time of need, whenever, wherever ever since the first day she said "I love you" to me. My bffs are there for me, through thick and thin :).

However, sometimes, although it may be very hard to admit, girls are just not cut out to do some things that are normally done by guys. There must be a reason why Allah SWT told us all that prophets can only be from the male species. Similarly, there are some things that guys could never do that are normally done by girls.

Here's why feminists make me laugh. They try so hard to prove that girls are just as good as guys but what they don't realize is that they are merely highlighting the weaknesses of the female species. They make me laugh because they live in an isolated world where they think males look down on females where in reality, that is absolutely false. Guys don't look down on girls.

As a guy, when I look into my mother's eyes, all I see is strength. All I see is wisdom. All I see is love. Feminists are like racists. They plague the world, spreading hatred.

Don't be one ;)

Back when I was a kid

2010-04-07T03:01:00.004+08:00

Back when I was a kid I wanted to be the Sultan of Perak.

Back when I was a kid I wanted to be a formula one driver.

Back when I was a kid I wanted to be Kurt Cobain.

Back when I was a kid I wanted to be the richest man alive.

Back when I was a kid I wanted to make a difference.

Back when I was a kid I believed The Beatles when they said All you need is love.

Back when I was a kid, I had this vision of me in the future. I saw me being successful. I saw me being all that I knew I could be. I saw me standing tall above all the shits that life had to offer. I saw me being able to achieve anything and everything that I wanted. But above all, I saw me living my dream life.

But life had other plans. I don't know where I went wrong but somewhere along the way I got a little lost. Everyday I feel like age is catching up with me and that slowly all the dreams that I had are being taken away by a cruel phenomenon known as reality. I find myself trying to hold on desperately to those dreams, knowing full well that those dreams will never ever be realized.

As I near the end of my university life, I realized that what I am today, is nothing what a young me envisioned an older me to be in the future. I realized that all the dreams I had for me when I was a kid was amounting to nothing more than a puff of smoke.

Reminiscing about the good old times is something that I love to do. Bitter-sweet memories of my childhood, my teen years and all the dreams that I had.

Back when I was a kid I didn't want to be the person that I am today.

How about you? Is the current you the person you always wanted to be when you were a kid?

Why I won't shave my facial hair. Ever.

2010-03-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

Here's why:

1. It is vital to maintain facial hair for that Johnny Depp look.
2. It is vital to somewhat look like Johnny Depp.
3. It is vital to have facial hair resembling those of Johnny Depp's.
4. Johnny Depp is the single most coolest guy on the face of planet earth.

I watched Johnny Depp's latest movie, Public Enemies a few days ago. I was dumbstruck by his coolness.

I will not shave my facial hair. I will walk like a drunken pirate. I will swap my hands for a pair of scissors. I will purchase a chocolate factory.

But before all that, I'd have to get me my first pair of leather jacket/pants and visit M.A.C for a boxful of eyeliners and mascara to truely look like Johnny Depp.

6 packs and toned biceps? Nah...Who needs all that when you got eyeliners and mascara.

Losing My Virginity: An experience that will never be forgotten.

2010-03-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

The place was cold. It was late in the evening and I had to go home soon. I wanted to leave. However, I told myself turning back and leaving was not an option. I walked over to the girl not far from me. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous but she wasn't dead ugly either. She's what you call a typical "girl next door".

I summoned all the courage that I had in me. I would've downed a few cans of beer for that extra bit of courage but I don't drink. I was nervous. My mouth was dry. After staring at each other for a few seconds, I could already feel the tension between us. Finally, I opened my mouth.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a book"

"Yes sir, this is a book store. What's the title of the book you're looking for?"

"The author is Sir Richard Branson" I told her.

"Yes sir, and the title please?"

"............."

"Sir, the title please?"

"Losing my virginity"

She gave me a blank look.

"I'll be right back sir"

She went away looking for the book. A few minutes later she came back and told me she had something else to do. She subsequently told me that one of her colleagues would help me find the book. I wanted to tell her it's OK I'll look for the book myself . I would not like anyone else to know that I was looking for a book titled "Losing my virginity".

People.will.judge.me.

As I opened my mouth to tell her it's OK I'll look for the book myself, she called out to her colleague, Allen.

"Allen!" she called out in a rather loud voice, "Please help me to find a book for this customer" (she pointed her thumb at me). Allen was a few meters away from the wretched woman and I.

"Ok sure, what's the title of the book?"

"You bastard woman don't you f**king dare tell him the title of the book in front of everyone here!" Went a voice inside my head. Much to my dismay, the wretched witch bellowed:

"It's called LOSING MY VIRGINITY"

You stupid woman you ruined my life. She repeated it a few times when flabbergasted Allen did not believe his ears.

Behind me was a long queue. Beside me was an even longer queue. In front of me was an old lady with her grandchild. Everyone there now knows I was looking for a book titled "Losing my virginity". Everyone there will now think that I am somewhat perverted.

Allen smiled. I told Allen the book's not about what he thinks it's about. It's about a self-made billionaire, not some lewd perverted journal of a complete stranger's first time sexual experience. He just nodded. Never once did his smile fade away. I bet he'll be telling the same story that I am telling you right now to his friends.

I'm so going to order that book via mail order. I didn't wait for smiling flabbergasted Allen to return with the book. It's hard to keep your cool when a whole bunch of people are staring at you while whispering to each other. It was a scene fit for a typical American teen movie.

To some ignorant few on that fateful evening, and maybe even Allen, I will forever be remembered as the dude who wanted to buy a book with instructions as to how to lose his virginity.

Damn you wretched woman. And damn you Allen.

* The book was titled losing my virginity most probably as a tongue in cheek reference to Sir Richard Branson's trademark company, The Virgin Group.

Syaitan Setor Tingkatan 4 Cekap

2010-03-10T03:13:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 6.30am in the morning. As soon as I got up, I decided to go out for a morning jog.

As I jogged from my house all the way up to Bukit Setiawangsa, all of a sudden old memories came gushing back into my head.

I had Explosions In The Sky playing on my Walkman. The precise song that was playing was "Your Hand In Mine", my favourite song by them. The melancholic tune of the song made me feel nostalgic and somewhat sad. As I jogged pass my old school, I could see a younger version of me running towards the school gates. I was very rarely early nor on time for school. I'd be at least 5 minutes late.

I could also see my friends greeting me in front of the staircase in between block C and D..or was it A and B? I can't remember. I could see visions of me laughing my head off. I could see visions of me being carefree and somewhat naive. I miss those days greatly.

I miss the days where my best friends were around me all day. I miss the days where I would spike my Bio teacher just for the fun of it. I miss the days where I would gossip all day long with my BM teacher. I miss the days where I would talk and joke around with my friends during EST while pretending to be doing some work. I miss the days where I learned history from my all knowing-history teacher.

I miss Tingkatan 5 Amanah. I miss sitting at the back of that class (during most history lessons I'd be standing up) and pretending to be listening to the teacher in front. I miss....just lepaking at the back of the class..especially Fridays where all of us would smack each other's arses with our sampins.

One of my fondest memory was when our accounts teacher raided the store room at the back of my class and went literally berserk:

DEMONS OF TINGKATAN 4 CEKAP

What subject: Accounting Principles

Location : Tingkatan 4 Cekap/ Store room at the back.

WRONGDOING : Ponteng class to lepak in store room to eat burger.

Teacher : 1.Raided store room.

2.Shouted "anak setan"

3.Blindingly swung both arms around.

4.Hitting every moving target at
will.

lesson learned:

Only eat during recess.

You'd be asking why would getting hit by a teacher be one of my fondest memories. The answer is because it's one of the dumbest, most nakal-est things I ever did. It's one memory I could look back to and laugh at me for me being so....16 year old me. I am 22 years old this year. Being 16 seemed like just yesterday.

As I walked down Bukit Setiawangsa back to Taman Keramat Permai, I asked myself, what was high-school for me? I'm still trying to answer that question because there is no, and there never will be, any definitive answer.

Whenever I think about high-school, I can only think of one thing. That one thing is how much I miss it.

Are you gonna be the one that saves me?

2010-02-16T19:59:00.000+08:00

There are many things I would like to say to you, But I don't know how.
Maybe, are you gonna be the one that saves me?
and afterall...
You're my wonderwall.

One breezy evening at Makam Pahlawan.

2010-02-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

About a year ago, I went to Masjid Negara for Friday Prayers. It was my first time praying there. I prayed at Masjid Negara for two reasons. One, to perform my Friday prayers. Two, to visit the graves of Tun Abdul Razak and Tun Dr Ismail.

As I recited Al-Fatihah for my two fallen heroes, my mind wondered away into an undefined space in time where I thought long and hard about what the two men above did for this country. My country. Our country.

Back in those days everything they did was done for the betterment of Malaysia. There was no hanky-panky or mala fide. There was only a burning desire to unite this country of ours and develop it.

The two Tuns served their country to the grave. Both died in office. Tun Abdul Razak suffered from leukaemia and died from it a frail thin man 35 years ago. Tun Dr Ismail died of a heart attack 38 years ago.

Tun Abdul Razak died as the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Tun Dr Ismail died as the Acting Prime Minister of Malaysia (Tun Abdul Razak was out of the country and appointed Tun Dr Ismail as the Acting Prime Minister for the entire duration of his absence).

After I finished reciting Al Fatihah for the two Tuns, I looked around me. I thought about the life that I am living, the dreams that I am dreaming.

On the way back home from Masjid Negara, as I passed along the lush green gardens of Taman Tasik Perdana, the grand towering skyscrapers of Kuala Lumpur and the winding ultra-modern elevated highways circling the nation's capital, a single drop of tear fell from my eyes. We owe a lot to these two men .

They created a foundation so strong, it helped Tun Dr Mahathir to take this country to new heights.

Apart from the blessings of Allah SWT, we owe a lot of what we have today to these two men. Let us not forget them, their sacrifices, their sense of responsibility and what they did for this country.

Al-Fatihah.

An analysis about Vokabulari pemuda/pemudi melayu zaman kini.

2010-01-15T18:07:00.000+08:00

"Bro! Boleh tolong sikit tak bro?"
"Boleh..nak tolong apa?"
"Macam ni bro, nak mintak tolong bro sikit tolong fotostat dokumen dokumen ni. Thanks bro, nanti bro dah habis fotostat bro letak atas meja boss eh bro? Thanks bro!"
"Sama-sama......"

What's wrong with the conversation above?

I have never heard a human being using the word 'bro' so many times in a single conversation. He said bro seven times. I don't mean to be rude but him saying bro seven times in a single conversation makes me want to take my socks off and stuff it in his mouth or do the next best thing: Stab my ears with sharpened pencils so that I'd be deaf and won't be able to hear the guy talk. Or say 'bro'. Ever again.

He is exceedingly annoying.

But I guess that's how modern Malay youths talk. Here are some example of words used frequently by Malay youths nowadays.

1. "Nak gi mana dowh?"
What in god's name is dowh? I can only guess. It sounds like an abbreviation of the word "Bodoh". Can it be concluded that Malay youths nowadays call people stupid for no apparent reason?

2. "Weh, dah makan belum?"
What the hell is "weh?". I have absolutely no idea. I think it's an abbreviation of the word "wahai". People just got lazy. It used to be "Wahai teman, ke mana hendaknya?". Then it got shortened to "Wahai, nak pergi mana?". After that people just got more and more lazy so "Wahai" turned into "Weh".

3. "Chillex la bro, banyak masa lagi"
Chillex. A combination of chill and relax. I don't even know where to start with this....

4."Ala...sikit jew. Sikit tu pun nak marah kew".
This is an example of how Malay youths nowadays text. Ke is replaced with 'kew'. 'Je' is replaced by 'jew'. I'm sure people must know that 'jew' means yahudi -.-". The people who text using this kind of vocabulary annoys me just as much if not more than the dude who says 'bro' seven times in a single conversation.

I asked my parents about 'dowh' and they said they have never heard of it when they were small. Talk about change huh?

To all malay youths out there, including myself, who uses the word "dowh", Homer Simpson would be so proud of us.

D'oh!

Real men wear pink! But so does Elton John.

2010-01-13T16:51:00.000+08:00

So there I was at a shoe store @ Carre4 Wangsa Maju with Mat. He insists on spelling 'Mat' with two T's. Even if I had to travel to hell and back, I'll never spell his name that way. Just because.

Anyways, I was looking for a new pair of sandals to replace my worn out capals. I was busy looking around the store when I found a pair that I liked. I called the sales assistant nearby to ask her for a size 9..

Faisal: Kak, yang ni size sembilan ada?

Sales Assistant: Er..adik..ni untuk perempuan...

Faisal: Ouh.....

Mat was laughing. The sales assistant was smiling. I was doing neither. I was staring blankly at the sales assistant. Since that fateful day my dear friend Mat has never stopped mocking me. Sadly, the "feminine" side of me has never left me. That fateful day at Carre4 Wangsa Maju was a sign of things to come. After the 'Shoe store' incident , there has been a couple of occasions where I made the same mistake, with the most recent being committed at Bukit Bintang a few weeks ago.

"Sal, ko nak tengok bahagian ladies tak? Mana tau kot-kot ada yang ko berkenan kat situ"

An example of how my dear friend of seven years Mat would mock me.

It got me thinking, why was I drawn to female attire on a couple of occasions? To make matters even worst, pink is my favourite colour.

One thing I'm absolutely sure of is how unbelievably straight I am. Ask the girlfriend. She should know, she's a girl and I'm dating her. See straight as a ruler.

But that still doesn't answer why I was mysteriously drawn to female attire on a couple of occasions. I wear a necklace with a star-shaped pendant, I have a billion rings, a few bracelets and am the master of two female hamsters named Barbie and Babe. Can I be any more gay-er?

Some guys actually go for manicures and pedicures. Some guys even wax themselves. Hell some guys get waxed while having pedi/manicures. And what's more astonishing is that these guys are as straight as a ruler.

To me, only real men are comfortable to admit that they pamper themselves. To me, only real men are brave enough to be in touch with their feminine side. Only guys with serious insecurity issues try to show the whole wide world how manly they are, most probably to hide the fact that they are actual softies deep down inside.

You know the type that will squeal in horror if they see something bad. Yes, squeal. Not man-shout, but squeal.

My conclusion is simple. Only real men wear pink! But the only problem is...so does Elton John. Dammit.

Drugs, Sex and Rock n Roll...oh and alcohol.

2009-12-04T11:17:00.001+08:00

FEMALES: A STEREOTYPICAL ANALYSIS.

BANGSAR TWEENS

AGE : 13-15 years old.

ENGLISH ACCENT : Standard fake American accent [over enunciated "R"]

LIKES : Shopping, make up, spending rich dad's money and boys.

DRESS CODE : Anything revealing. The less fabric, the better.

The more expensive, the better.

AVERAGE MALAY TWEEN

AGE : 13-15 years old.

ENGLISH ACCENT : Slight Malay accent ie "the" sounds like "de".

LIKES : More or less the same as the Bangsar tweens.

DRESS CODE : Head scarf, tight top and hip hugging jeans *a generalization

I was walking around at The curve with my family when I wondered off away from the pack to visit a place where I call my second home, my sanctuary, my sanctum, my place of peace and tranquillity. Other people however call it a book-store.

Anyhow, on my way there, I stumbled upon a group of young tweenage girls who wore skimpy revealing outfits. Short skirts, Spaghetti tops etc. They spoke English with a very fake American accent. I could tell that their dad's were rich. Rich people have an "I'm rich" aura glowing around them. Plus I saw at least two of them using a Nokia N95 8 gig (Expensive phone weyh!). So I put 2 and 2 together and concluded that they were rich kids. Probably from Bangsar or Bukit Damansara.

Near them was a group of your average Malay tweens. They were eyeing the Bangsar tweens with a disgusted look on their faces. As I passed the Bangsar tweens (They wore too much perfume) and got nearer to the average Malay tween group I could hear them say amongst themselves "Menyampah aku tengok" and "Konfirm dah rosak". I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

On one side we have a group of skimpy outfit wearing tweens and on the other, we have a group of decently dressed Malay tweens. One group is out enjoying themselves, not disturbing anyone while the other group is busy bad mouthing other people. Which group is bitch-like? The Bangsar tweens or the average Malay tweens?

You see, just because one is decently dressed, it doesn't make him or her a better human being, nor does it make him or her a better Muslim. Muslims don't bad mouth other people unprovoked. I'm no Islamic scholar but I do know one thing: covering up will not guarantee you paradise. And I'm pretty sure bad mouthing others unprovoked is a big sin.

I was sore at the group of average Malay tweens because they concluded that the Bangsar tweens were confirmed underage little sluts just by looking at how they dressed. They made their own conclusion purely based on what they see. That can't be right can it?

Don't get me wrong though. Covering up is the right thing to do. Whatever the Quran says, I'm all for it. I'm no pious Muslim, but whatever the Quran says, that's how I aspire to live my life. I may have hit a few bumps along the way but ultimately the Muslim way of life is how I want to live my life.

Even so, no one has the right to judge others purely based on how they look. To me, the average Muslim tween group was an embarrassment to Islam. What they did a.k.a mengumpat belakang was a heinous act. I was disgusted by their thoughts @ they are better than the Bangsar tweens just because their clothing is more decent.

Good Muslims will make very good human beings. However, bad Muslims will not necessarily make bad human beings. Even if a Muslim lived the rockstarr lifestyle of drugs, sex and rock n roll....and alcohol, it only makes him a very bad Muslim, not a very bad human being. He may not pray or fast but he may have helped others by donating his time, energy or money for charitable purposes.

Princess Diana wasn't even a Muslim but all of us know how kind-hearted she was, how she helped many others when she was still alive and how she touched thousands if not millions of people with her acts of kindness.

The concept of bad Muslim and bad human being are not intertwined. People need to know how to differentiate between the two. At least that's what I think.

2 guys. 2 adam's apple. and a pair of breasts.

2009-11-23T11:31:00.000+08:00

So there I was in KLCC. In Isetan to be exact. I was looking for some work pants when I saw this exceedingly hot female walking in front of me. She was holding hands with a scrawny "Blink and the wind generated might blow me away" looking guy.

No offence to the guy but his looks....don't jive with the fact that he's holding hands with a Megan Fox body double. In my head I was thinking, Love knows no boundaries. Maybe she's just a hot girl who has been lied to, cheated at, taken advantage of by a list of playboys aka jerks. Maybe now she doesn't care about looks. Maybe now she just wants a guy with a good heart. A guy that loves her for what's inside.

Beautiful right? Wrong. A few minutes later I found out the reason why the Megan Fox body double was holding hands with a scrawny dude with an overbite so severe, he could win 100 meter sprints by just opening his mouth. Here's the reason why.

The Megan Fox Body double report card:

Marks: Remarks:
1. Model-like body. 10 HOT
2. Womanly Curves. 9.5 HOT
3. Toned thighs. 9.5 HOT
4. Toned arms. 9.5 HOT
5. Long, silky hair. 10 HOT
6. Has a penis. ???!!! ??!!!

Comments:
??????!!!

Further comments:
The Megan Fox body double probably has a penis since she is actually a he who has transformed herhimself into a she. She looks like a she, walks like a she, dresses like a she but most probably pees standing up. So that's why she's holding hands with the scrawny dude. No good-looking guy in the right state of mind would ever, ever go on a date with a dude, let alone hold hands with one.

It is their choice to be whatever they want. It's their choice to be with whoever they want. It's their right to be happy . It's their life. I and a few hundred people at Isetan on that fateful day don't mean to stare or pass judgement. I mean who am I to judge people right?

But it's so hard not to stare at a dude with C-cup breasts.

Soul piercing compositions.

2009-11-16T03:23:00.000+08:00

Songs. They make us laugh, they make us smile. They inspire us, they make us feel strong. They also make us cry, make us feel weak. It's 2.39am in the morning and I'm still awake. I am extremely tired but for some odd reason I'm unable to sleep. I'm struggling to find the reason as to why I'm still wide awake when my head tells me to sleep, when my body tells me that I'm exhausted. I think I may have found the answer.

Every night before I go to bed I would listen to my walkman (yes, you iPod worshippers, my walkman. I don't believe in spending more on a device just because everyone think it's cool, it's a waste of money.) I'm listening to one particular song over and over again. A song I hold dear in my heart because it reminds me of special times.

I find my mind wondering off to faraway places every time I listen to this particular song. I would be drifting in and out of memories. I would actively memory "hop", non-stop. I'm still wide awake at 2.56am in the morning simply because my mind is over-active at a time where it's supposed to be shutting down and falling asleep.

I ask myself,why am I listening to this song when it's keeping me awake? I have to wake up in 4 hours. After that there will be no more sleep from 9am to 6pm. I needed enough sleep to get me through tomorrow. Again I ask myself, why am I still listening to this particular song? In true Faisal fashion, my mind began drifting away again, trying to find the answer as to why I refuse to not listen to this particular song and just fall asleep.

Then it hit me. I'm listening to this particular song over and over again simply because I wanted to be reminded of the special times it reminds me off. I wanted to be stuck in a moment. I'm listening to this particular song over and over again so that I could relive the feelings I had then, when smiling was the easiest thing to do.

Listening to the same song over and over again simply meant that I wanted to spend a little more time in a memory that has since passed.

Songs make us frown, they make us laugh. They put smiles on our faces and also tears in our eyes.

But for me, every single song has a story behind it. A memory underneath it that will resurface every single time it's listened to.

Perhaps that's why I'm listening to this particular song. So that I could relive something. Something that puts a smile on my face and a tear in my eye.

Songs are powerful compositions that are heard by the ear. Songs are powerful compositions that are interpreted by the mind. Songs are powerful compositions that pierce the soul.

Goodbye.

2009-11-11T00:27:00.000+08:00

Dear You,

Sometimes the best decision may not be the easiest to make. You'll always be my dear dear friend, a friend who I'll call my best, a friend who'll always be in my mind, a friend who I'll always cherish. Saying goodbye isn't easy, at least for me it isn't. But some things are more important than others and I understand that perfectly.

I wish your last goodbye would be a bit more meaningful than "take care mate" but it's OK, it's not important.

I'd like to ask you to promise me a few things. If you ever read this entry, I want you to promise me the things that you are about to read.

Promise me you'll be the happiest person on this planet. Promise me you'll take good care of yourself. Promise me you'll succeed in everything you do and promise me you'll smile your sweetest smile forever and let in continue to shine on forever more.

Promise me.

Goodbye, God Bless.

Why swearing is good for the soul. (Reader discretion adviced, Foul language present)

2009-11-06T12:30:00.000+08:00

When you're really mad at someone or something, what would you normally do to ease the tension?
Would you:

A) Break down into tears and cry your heart out.
B) Punch something.
C) Shout or scream your lungs out.
D) Nothing. ( Dangerous, people who keep their anger inside are just volatile volcanoes waiting to erupt)

What I would do is, I'd swear at that person or something and I'd feel better almost instantly.

This entry is about the power of self control.
This entry is about the power to make one feel better.
This entry is about reducing anger to a point where you wont be a threat to yourself or anyone else.
This entry is about the power of Fuck You.

Some would not agree with me and say that swearing is filth. It represents everything that's wrong with society. It's stupid, obscene and down right vulgar. I agree, with it being all that, but to a certain extent only.

You see, swearing may represent all that but let's take a look at why it was invented in the first place. Swearing was invented as a channel to express one's anger. Swearing was invented, in simple terms, as a short term strategy to get rid of one's anger. A Panadol Actifast of some sort to quickly subdue one's anger before he does something stupid like punching people.

People always have this misconception that swearing is for thugs, gangsters and people with no moral. Everyone swears. Be it in private or in public. Everyone swears. I think even the queen of England swears. Of course she'd still be grammatically correct when she swears ie "The cat shated all over the place" instead of
"The cat shits all over the place".

The F word has helped me on many occasions. Not just once or twice but many. I find it easier to let go of something painful or forget something bad that's happening to me by saying out loudly the three magical phrases that has helped me so much throughout my school years. It's still helping me out currently in my university years.

So next time I'm in deep shit, I know full well that by saying "Fuck it. Fuck you. and Fuck Off", I'd be back on my own two feet in no time.

You should try it =p.

"As long as you make a good husband"

2009-11-03T17:51:00.000+08:00

I was facebooking with my wanna (me youngest aunty from me mom's side). We were merapu-ing as usual when I realized that I will not make a good wife. I cant:

1.Cook.
2.Cook.
3.Clean.
4.Iron clothes.

The above four are the four essential wifely duties.

Wanna said it's ok but she told me instead to make sure that I'll make a good husband.

So there I was, sitting in my chair wondering about things I shouldn't be wondering about such as marriage and having kids.

What makes a good husband?

I then subsequently realized that I wont make a very good husband either. This is because wives tend to want their husbands to help in four essential areas, which are:

1.Cooking.
2.Cooking.
3.Cleaning.
4.Ironing clothes.

So there I was, sitting in my chair wondering again about the many divorces I predict I'll go through when I'm all grown up. Due to my lack of "essential four" skills. My future looked bleak. Dammit.

But then as I started to swivel down into dark dark thoughts about my impending divorce(s), I came to realize that I am only 21 years old. I still have a lot of time to sharpen my "essential four" skills. My future doesn't look so bleak after all.

As my heart regained control of my head, I thought to myself, I may not have the "essential four" skills but I think, I think la...no..not I think...I know that whoever ends up marrying me, I will love with all my heart, body and soul and that I'll give her nothing short of the world.

I may not know how to cook or clean, but I sure as hell know how to love =).

LAPORAN KEMATIAN/ DEATH REPORT.

2009-11-02T15:17:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting in my cubicle listening to the people, lawyers to be exact, around me talking. All of them sound so busy. I on the other hand, have been doing absolutely nothing since this morning.
For the past six hours, I have been:

1.Surfing the net.
2.Merapu dengan Shaf.
3.Merapu dengan Sue.
4.Messaging people like mad due to me being so unbelievably bored.
5.Eating non-stop. Chewing stuffs.
6.More surfing the net.
7.Berangan nak beli:
a)Phone baru.
b)Clothes.
c)Swatch Bijoux rings and accessories.
d)Sport rims.
8. Fiddling with my:
a) Phone.
b)Water bottle.
c)My Friggin Laptop.
d)My Tie.

Without my laptop I.will.simply.drop.dead.

SIJIL KEMATIAN/DEATH CERTIFICATE

Nama/Name : Ahmad Faisal Bin Rosli
Umur/Age : 21 Years 3 Months and 15 Days.
Jantina/Sex : Yes Please.
Punca Kematian: Boredom.
Cause of death: (Lihat atas)

Laporan Bedah Siasat/
Autopsy Report:

Pesakit telah mengalami kebosanan yang teruk akibat terlampau tidak tahu hendak buat apa di office. Beliau mendakwa telah meminta kerja daripada peguam peguam di tempat beliau bekerja akan tetapi peguam peguam semua terlampau sibuk untuk melayan beliau. Beliau kemudianya menjadi terlampau bosan. Lalu mati.

Laporan Disediakan Oleh:
Dr.Pakar.

I Love You.

2009-10-21T17:38:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last posted an entry on my blog. I was busy for the past month. For the first two weeks of the month I had to prepare and sit for my final exams. Immediately after my finals were over (the next working Monday) I had to report to a law firm smack in the middle of Kuala Lumpur to undergo my 3 month legal attachment.

It's 4.35 PM and it's about to rain. In front of me is large glass pane, probably around twelve feet high that acts as a window to the outside world and also as a wall. I can see trees swaying left and right (the wind is pretty strong). I can also see people walking in and out of buildings and just now a bird flew right past by my line of sight.

It's about to rain soon. I can hear thunder, booming and breaking the silence of my office. Everything is so quiet here. I'm listening to The Googoo Dolls' Iris. I love that song. As Johnny Rzeznik sings the opening verse of Iris, all of a sudden my mind flies to a secret place in my head where I keep my heart.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I look around and everything around me reminds me of romance. I could spend hours just sitting on my bed listening to romantic songs, secretly wishing that I'd get the chance to sing it to someone special (who wont throw a shoe at me for having such a horrible voice). When I look at old couples holding hands all I see is everlasting love while others around me would go ew.

What is love? What is my definition of love? I don't have an exact definition of love. I cannot define love. To define love simply means to constrain it. Love is a concept, a feeling so complex, so passionate, so breathtaking, it is undefinable.

Love can be seen all around us. It can be seen when a couple kiss each other, when a wife kisses her husband's hand before he leaves for work or when a mother hugs her children before they leave for school. However, love is not always visible. Sometimes the most purest of love is not even visible, it's existence kept secret by a fictional facade.

There is only one way to fully understand the true meaning of love. That one way is to experience it.

If I absolutely had to define love, I can only think of one answer.

Iris
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Melancholy

2009-09-12T06:53:00.000+08:00

There are so many things I would like to change in my life. Out of all the things that I want to change in my life, there's this one thing I'd like to change the most. If I changed this one thing, I am sure I'd be happy for the rest of my life. There is no doubt in my mind that my life would be almost complete if I changed this one thing. I made a mistake. A mistake that will haunt me forever. A mistake that changed my perspective on life from being beautiful, to being melancholic. A view of life that was once positive, beautiful and full of energy is now beautifully melancholic, full of pain, sorrow and regret.

Might as well have a stirling silver dagger pushed painfully slow into my heart. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Sometimes I wish I had lacuna amnesia.

Ma! Angah nak makan!!

2009-09-09T05:42:00.001+08:00

"Mama! Mama dekat mana? Lama dah angah tunggu!!!!!"

"Mama dah nak sampai dah Faisal"

My mom ended up being 5 minutes late picking me up from school. I throwed a tantrum. My mom just kept quiet.

"Ma, hari ni angah nak mama masak sambal tumis ikan bilis, ayam hotel (A type of chicken dish my mom makes). Pastu angah nak bla..bla...bla.....boleh ma?".

"Ok Ahmad, nanti mama masak".

I made my mom cook a billion different dishes for me.

"Ma, tolong bank in duit!!!! Angah kena pakai noww!!!"

"Ok2!!! Mama pergi noww!!!"

My mom stopped doing anything that she was doing at that very moment and rushed to the bank to bank in some money for me.

"*panting* Dah, mama dah letak dah.."

"Thanks maa!!!"

My mom rushed to the bank, and probably jogged from her car to the bank because she's terrified something bad might happen to me if I got the money late.

My mama. The sweetest lady in the whole wide world. She's kind to everyone (We may have to make an exception for her sons girlfriends. She likes to nag to me and Fahmi about the dangers of a creature we young ones nowadays call 'girlfriend'). However, she approves most of them. I think she likes kakak (I call Fahmi's GF that) a lot.

I'm a momma's boy. I admit it. I make my mom do all sort of things for me, just because she's my mom.

"Faisal, boleh ambik adik dekat sekolah?"

"Ye.....ma.......angah.....ambik...amir......"

"Ok thank you angah"

"K..."

That was very kind of me to help fetch my brother from school right? Wrong. I made it very clear to my mom that I didnt want to do it.

"Faisal, kemas bilik"

"Ok ma, angah nak baca paper jap"

Ten minutes later when I got up to clean my room, It was already cleaned.

"Faisal, mana baju kotor semua? Bawak naik atas mama nak basuh"

"Ok ma, jap, tengah buat something".

Ten minutes later when I went in to pick up my bags, it wasnt there anymore. My mom came down to pick them up and carried them upstairs be washed.

My mom always do things for me. Even things that are clearly my own responsibility. She never brings up what she has done for me everytime I said no to any favours she asks of me.

I tend overlook at all the wonderful things my mom does for me. I'm writing this down now to remind me, in black and white, to never ever say no to any favours my mom ask of me.

The love between a mother and her children is what I call unconditional love. Your mom will always love you, no matter what you do. I know mine would :)

I have the best, the coolest and the kindest mom in the whole wide world. (And you guys would of course say no Faisal, MY mom is the best, the coolest and the kindest mom in the whole wide world hahaha).

Why I Call My Grandpa Jadi

2009-09-03T05:51:00.000+08:00

Jadi

No, It's not because I think he's a Jedi.

He's my Mom's dad. Jadi is derived from an arabic word Jaad-Di which literally means my grandfather. My Jadi is 80 this year. Old-ish even for old people.

Anyhu, he was born in Perak to a noble Malay family. His father, my great-grandfather, was the Orang Besar Jajahan (OBJ), one of the Pembesar Berempat of Perak. In simpler terms, the OBJ is one of the four most senior nobles in Perak. The title and position still exists to this present day.

My Jadi is not your average grandpa. He would give long lectures about the slightest most trivial things imaginable. An example would be about washing hands. He would make me stand beside the sink and repeat every single thing he did. If I'm not mistaken, there are about 5 or 6 steps altogether.

Here are a list of things my Jadi prohibits me from doing:

1. Never use the word aku, kau, awak. Guna nama. Lebih sopan dan beradap begitu.

2. Never simpan long hair. Rambut pendek lebih elok. I quote "Faisal, you look so much better like this. Very handsome" - Beaming with pride and pointing happily at my newly cut hair. The only reason I ever cut my hair is because my Jadi dont like it long.

3. Never ever sit in a position where the feet is "high" - Tak menghormati orang.

4. Always bow down when walking in front of older people. It's a sign of respect.

5. The list goes on and on.

More often than not, whenever I walk past/near him, he'd stop me on my tracks and ask me to come nearer to him. He would then proceed with a long lecture (5 Mins at least) about anything and everything imaginable for example like how I have to keep my distance from the car in front while driving or how I needed to check that every single window and door was locked before I go to bed. His most favourite lecture would be a long lecture about how I should be careful to never "mix around with the wrong people".

Most people would be annoyed at having such a fussy grandfather. But not me. I love my Jadi very much. It's very simple why. Because he loves me just as much too. My Jadi has never ever told me that he loves me but I know he does. His actions speaks louder than his words.

When I was a baby, he would hold me for hours on end. He refused to put me down or give me back to my mother. He would just hold me in his arms, cradle me and put me to sleep while standing up. I'm not talking about an hour or two. I'm talking about a few hours.

When I was a small boy, I used to get angry at him. He used to take my toys away from me.

When I was a kid, I couldn't understand why he was being so mean to me. Now I know why. He was afraid that I might injure myself. He took away every toy that in his opinion was dangerous to my well-being. Once, he was so paranoid about me injuring myself, he even took away a plastic sword my dad bought for me (I found the sword ten years later, hidden behind some old boxes on top of a cupboard).

I thought his small lectures would go away as I grew older. Boy Oh Boy was I wrong. He still continues to lecture me on anything and everything imaginable. In the past I would still hear his lectures, but not whole heartedly as most of the time, he'd stop me dead on my tracks while I was on my way to do something else for example, going out etc.

However nowadays, everytime my Jadi stops me dead on my tracks to lecture me about god knows what, I would stop and listen to him attentively. He's not giving me lectures just to have fun at boring me to death. He's giving me lectures so that his grandson would be a successful man some day. He's giving me lectures so that nothing could ever tear me down or beat me to the ground. He's giving me all those lectures just because he simply loves me.

My grandfather is very old now. He spends most of his time praying and sleeping. He was a very handsome man when he was younger (now I know where my dashing good looks come from =p). He's the type of man that never says he loves you, but deep down inside you know he loves you. More than you will ever know.

Faisal in 10 years

2009-08-30T06:06:00.000+08:00

Current physical condition:

172cm tall

66Kg

33 inch waist

Current eating habit:

Swine-like

Current exercising routine:

Non-existent

B.M.I:

22.31 (B.M.I: 25 and above = Overweight)

Past physical condition: (Circa 6 months ago)

172cm tall

58-60kg

31-32 inch waist

Past eating habit:

Fag like. Eating habit almost non-existent

Past exercising routine:

Jogging,everyday,half hour sessions.

B.M.I:

20.28

I gained 6 kilograms in 6 months. That would translate to 12 Kilograms a year. Multiply that by 10, you will get 120 Kilograms. If I continue with my current lifestyle, I will weigh approximately 180 Kilograms in ten years time. My B.M.I calculation would read a mind-boggling 60.84.

I am living dangerously here. All those teh tariks and late night maggie gorengs are finally taking it's toll on my weight. I can barely fit in my old clothes right now. Thank god I got a baff brother. He's lending me his clothes. I am Fat. Dammit.

I'm going have to buck up soon because if I dont, one day I will end up the one they call "the single fat one" everytime an unknown person asks their friend about me when they see me arriving all alone at weddings and other functions.

*gulp*

Faisal's a Racist

2009-08-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

I was waiting for class to start when I read something on a whiteboard. It read something along the lines of:

"F*ck Malay Special Rights"

Should I reply that provoking statement with another equally provoking statement? Or should I just take the high road and walk away? Maybe I should just hit every Non-Malays I see to vent out my anger?

I walked away in disgust. I was sad, angry and disappointed.

The original architects of "Hak Istimewa Orang Melayu" never had the intention to make the special privileges given to the Malays a permanent one. In fact if I'm not mistaken, Tun Dr.Ismail Abdul Rahman, my political hero, said it deeply embarrassed him that the Malays needed special privileges.

I agree with the late Tun. I am also embarrassed by the fact that the special privileges given to the Malays still exist. It makes us look weak and incompetent. Mind you we are not a weak and incompetent. Look at Petronas for example. A company ran by Malays. It is a Fortune 500 company. It is one of the 100 largest companies in the world. As hard as it is for me to admit it, in my opinion, the Malays still need the special privileges.

The Malays were deprived of so many things when Malaya was under the rule of the British Empire. The Non-Malays were given freedom to open up businesses, set up their own educational institutes with their own educational systems. They were not harassed by the British. They lived a privilege existence under British rule for hundreds of years.

The Malays were however sidelined and banished to the interiors of Malaya. They were told to be farmers. They were poorly educated. The British made sure they were poorly educated because a smart and intelligent Malay race would surely oust them out of Malaya. They made sure we were stupid so that they can suck the resources from our country and use it for their own benefit. They made us feel weak and incompetent through a series of carefully planned schemes.

Here is an example of how the British treated the Malays. Ngah Ibrahim was a very rich Malay. He was a multi-millionaire who actually paid the salary of the then Sultan of Perak. He however committed a crime. His crime was to try oust the British from Perak. As a punishment for his crime, he was banished from Perak and Malaya. This is what happened to rich Malay Patriots.

The British first set foot on Malaysian soil in 1786. The Malays were sidelined, discriminated against and victimized by the British for over 200 years. During this time the Non-Malays were given absolute freedom to prosper and earn a living. It has been about 38 years since the Malays were given special privileges by the government.

Is 38 years of governmental aid enough to compensate 220 years of discrimination and victimization? In my opinion, the answer is no.

The special privileges for the Malays should not be called privileges. This is because they are in fact governmental aids given to a group of Malaysians that are still lagging behind the other races economically. You may argue that they are far more poorer Indians than Malays but look at it from a percentage point of view. There are more rich Indians than poor Indians. The same cannot be said about the Malays.

If you are indeed "colourblind" Why question the aids given to the Malays?

If you are indeed "colourblind" Why would it be so wrong to help the Malays?

I am not a racist. I have many Non-Malay friends who are dear to me. Some of my best friends are Non-Malay.

I am not against the government giving government aids to those who need them. What is so wrong about labelling a group of people that are at the receiving end of governmental aids? There is no such thing as a particular race being side-lined. No race is being dealt with unfairly. There is no such thing as the apartheid here in Malaysia.

Just because helping the Malays achieve economical power is a government agenda, people are labelling the government for practising apartheid. When was the last time you saw a sign saying "Malays only allowed to seat" in a bus? When was the last time you saw a signboard saying "Non-Malays are not allowed to contest in the general election"?.

Name me one race that has become poorer as a result of the new economic policy. I dare you.

Jam Patek Phillipe Ayah

2009-07-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

My dad owns a Patek Phillipe. "You never really own a Patek Phillipe. You merely look after it for the next generation". That tagline says a lot about the quality and prestige of the swiss watchmaker.

We all know how much a Patek Phillipe watch is worth. For all those who dont know, a Patek Phillipe watch can cost hundreds of thousands of ringgit. You certainly will not get one for less than the price of an average family sedan. And I'm talking about foreign made family sedans. Not locally made ones.

However, my dad's Patek Phillipe costs Rm100. Yeap, its fake.

We're nowhere near poor but my dad could never afford a watch that costs the same as his children's education. All four of them. It aches me inside everytime any one of my siblings make fun of my dad's fake Patek Phillipe. I used to make fun of it myself in the past. But I am sure as hell that I will not make fun of it anymore.

Ayah has sacrificed a lot for his family. He never buys anything for himself. Not clothes, not perfumes, not watches not anything really.

Situation 1

"Ayah, kenapa ayah tak beli jam mahal sikit? Go la buy something for you, you work so hard, beli la something as a reward for yourself..baju ke...anything la, go splurgeeee, go buy something expensive for yourself"

"haha, ayah hang mana ada duit nak beli mahal mahal"

I joined him laughing.

"Ayah, aduh!!! Asal ayah pakai baju free pergi KLCC? Jom la we buy something nice for you. This time takyah nak beli yang ada 70% discount. Go get something you like. Sekali sekala beli baju mahal takpela"

"Haha, ayah hang mana ada duit nak beli mahal mahal"

Again, I joined him laughing.

"Ayah!! Raya kot! Tolonglaaaa beli baju lawa lawa sikit for yourself!! Mahal sikit takpela, setahun sekali"

''Haha, ayah hang mana ada duit nak beli mahal mahal"

This time instead of laughing along with him, I said to myself: "Ayah kedekut".

Situation 2

"Ayah, nak four thousand. Nak bayar tution fees"

"Ok, nanti ayah bagi"

"Ayah, angah nanti nak buat practical. Tak nak naik public transport. Ada kereta lagi senang angah nak ulang alik"

"Ok Faisal, nanti kita beli"

"Ayah, angah nak Gen 2, dalam thirty four thousand"

"Ok Faisal, nanti kita pergi book".

"Ayah nak duit beli baju, angah nak yang elok elok sikit"

"Ok Faisal, dua ratus cukup?"

"Ayah, angah dapat 3 pointer. Nak duit hadiah?"

"Ok Faisal, heres three hundred"

"Ayah, angah nak pergi PD dengan kawan kawan, Nak duit?"

"Ok Faisal, berapa ratus nak?"

"Ayah, angah nak beli something mahal sikit. Tak cukup duit. Nak duit?"

"Ok Faisal,berapa ratus hang tak cukup?".

My dad is asleep in his room while I'm outside in our "gazebo" ie a family area surrounded by ceiling high glass panes with an L shaped fish pond surrounding it. We tease my dad about calling the family area a gazebo because it is so obviously not one. When we tease him about calling it his gazebo, he'd go:

''Yela, ayah hang tak dak duit nak buat betul betul".

All of us would break into laughter. My dad would just smile.

That used to be funny. As I grew older making fun of my dad for owning a fake watch, wearing old clothes and being cheap in general suddenly wasnt funny anymore.

He couldve bought an expensive watch for himself instead of buying me (and my brother) a car. He could have sent all of us to public universities and not have to pay tens of thousands of ringgit in tuition fees every single year (My dad firmly belives MMU is the best, Well we are one of the best, we're the only private institution of higher learning in Malaysia that made it top 200 in Asia). He couldve used the hundreds of ringgits (perhaps thousands by now) he gave us to splurge and shop to buy things for himself.

But he didnt. Ayah has never complained about spending so much for us. Not even a sentence of complaint. Not even a word. Not even a sigh.

It never was "Ayah hang mana ada duit nak beli mahal mahal". It has always been "Ayah loves us more than Ayah loves himself ". What we want is more important to him than what he wants.

My dad is not cheap afterall. He does not spend on himself because he wants to save money. Not for himself, but for us. For our education. He wants to make sure we will live a good life in the future.

I'm going to get you a real Patek Phillipe one day.

Thanks dad. You Rock :).

Ada apa dengan Cinta? Part 2

2009-07-29T17:25:00.001+08:00

Gadis D

Gadis D.

Taman Setiawangsa, Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur.

Circa 2003

It was around 6pm. I was jogging with my brother around Bukit Setiawangsa. We had jogged for about 40 minutes and were about done. We were heading home to our old house @ Puncak Setiawangsa.We were new there. We had just moved from Taiping, Perak.

As we made our way up a hill, we saw a young lady, presumably our age jogging. She wore dark blue gym pants, a white T and a white cap to match. I was mesmerized. Well, not mesmerized per se but I did stop on my tracks.

My oh my was she cute.

The next morning I saw a familiar face. She was a prefect, and a senior. I spent the entire day busting my brains out trying to remember where I saw her before.

After a few agonizing hours, it struck me.

She was Gadis D I saw jogging yesterday! She wore a tudung to school you see, so that's why it didn't immediately hit me that she was Gadis D when I first saw her earlier.

About a year later, I became a prefect myself. I'd secretly curi curi pandang her when we had our weekly meetings. I'm really good with all this espionage thing. Not once did she catch me curi curi pandang her.

My first crush in the garden city of lights.

Today Gadis D has started working, she graduated about a year ago. We're friends now.

Gadis D was my last serious crush.

The crushes that happened after Gadis D evolved into relationships. Relationships that has now ended.

The difference between the crushes that you have just read about and the relationships after that is that the memories of the crushes that I had will always be sweet ones. Ones where I can think about and laugh at for years to come.

As for the relationships, I cannot laugh about them. There's nothing funny about being dumped or dumping someone.

Ada apa dengan Cinta? Part 1

2009-07-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

Gadis A, Gadis B, Gadis C.

Gadis A.

Newcastle Upon Tyne, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Circa 1993-1997

I think I was 5-6 years old when I first laid my eyes on Gadis A. She was sweet, kind and very cute. She was my classmate at Forest Hall Primary School.

During my 3 wonderful years at that school, I cant recall a single conversation I had with her. No guts I tell you. You see, I was horrified of girls. I cant talk to them. Especially the really cute ones (Up to this day this problem has not gone away completely, much to my embarrassment) .

Oh wait a minute..there was this one time she spoke to me. It was during the school assembly. She said sorry. I was sitting in front of her and she accidentally vomited on me.

She was part of the "popular' clique. Along with Lauren, whose grandparents lived in Paris and Rachel. I don't know much about Rachel except that she's pretty.

Gadis B.

Ipoh, Perak Darul Ridzuan.

1998-2000

It was a hot afternoon/evening-ish. I used to go to Puan Normah's house for tuition. It was a teeny weeny single story bungalow in the suburbs of Ipoh.

I first laid my eyes on Gadis B in a makeshift classroom at the back of Puan Normah's house. It had cement flooring, ugly as hell and smelled just as bad. Mosquitoes were everywhere.When I got there, gadis B was busy writing something. I remembered staring at her throughout the entire 2 hour class.

She had this soft girly look. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but she had this certain gadis ayu quality that just melted me. My first serious crush.

I went back home that day thinking about her day and night. The following year she became my classmate. In true Faisal fashion, I hardly spoke to her.

It's a small world. She's studying in MMU now. She looked a lot like she did the last time I saw her. Which was about ten years ago.

Gadis C

Taiping, Perak Darul Ridzuan.

2001-2003

I met Gadis C at Puan Normalina's house. I used to go there for tuiton (Tuition centres are places where one can find love =D).

Gadis C was my first crush in Taiping. You know, when I think about it..I think she had the hots for me too...

I used to message her a lot. I'm not so sure about phone calls, my memory isn't that good but I'm pretty confident that we did call each other a few times. She's smart and pretty.

Basically she's sugar spice and everything nice. Perfect candidate right? WRONG.

Her dad. Her dad is the WRONG in WRONG. Extremely garang. That guy freaked me out and scared me shitless.

One fateful day, my Nokia 3310 rang. "she" was calling me out of the blue. I picked up happily thinking that she wanted to bergayut with me. Instead of her girlish voice, I heard a deep manly snarl on the other end of the line.

"SAPE NI????"

"er......." *gulp* (shit! It's her dad, what am I going to do??)

"SAPE NI????"

"er...." *double gulp**double shit*

"SIAPA INI?????????" *Help me god...*

By the third time he asked "SIAPA NI??", he lost it. He began shouting and cursing. I dont really remember what he said but it wasn't very pleasant. His parting words were:

"KAMU JANGAN KACAU NUMBER INI LAGI!"

Good god dude..you need to take a chill pill.

Well, that was practically the end of Gadis C's "adventure" with me. We met again a few times at Puan Nurmalina's house but I'm guessing her dad scares her shitless too. Because since the night of "SAPE NI????", there wasn't any more messages from her..no phone calls...no nothing.

Happy Birthday SHAF!!!!

2009-07-24T10:48:00.001+08:00

Dah tua dah kamu ye.haha

Pi la daftar undi tuuuu

Tapi jgn ckp hang sokong sapa

Kang hang jadi penduduk Kemunting haha

Tan Sri Jun!!!

2009-07-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

Tan Sri. One of my many nicknames. I am also known as Che' Mat, Sal, Cal, Pecal, Fesal, angah and Jun.

Tan Sri:

Anis calls me Tan Sri. I in turn call her Datin Seri. Classy? haha, uh huh, ok~~

Che' Mat@Ahmad:

My parents call me this. My uncles, aunties and older sibling/cousins simply call me "Mat".

That's a unique feature of my extended family.

All the young male members will be referred to as "Mat" by the senior members of our family.

Angah:

My younger siblings call me this. My younger cousins also call me this. It's either angah or abangah. In my opinion, angah does not sound as cool as abang. Starting from Tihani (cutest most adorable little girl in the whole wide world), my 4 going to 5 year old cousin, I am trying to train my young baby cousins to call me Abang Faisal.

Sal:

My common nickname.

It is my nickname of choice.

The nickname I would have on my jersey if I were a Premiership Footballer.

Mat is a true supporter of the nickname Sal. He has publicly announce his hatred for the nickname ''Cal"

Those who call me Sal include: Mat, Zayd and Sue, Peng and Mamu.

Cal:

My other common nickname.

I personally prefer Sal over Cal...

I make it known that I prefer Sal instead of Cal..but people still keep on calling me Cal.

So I made my peace with it.

Those who call me Cal includes: Fared, Shuq, Tuan Aji Redza, Lai and my housemates.

Pecal:

Rabi calls me Pecal. One day Rabi suddenly out of the blue decided to call me Pecal. It reminded her of a tasty malay salad-like thing. Rabi eats too much.

Somehow the nickname stuck. So everytime I call Rabi or vice versa I would hear:

''Peeccaaalllllll!!!!!!" She likes to shout at people who call her for no apperant reason. Unique one this one.

Fesal:

My third common nickname. Everyone calls me this. There are some abbriviations though.

Example: Rima would sometimes call me Fesalun, Shaf would sometimes call me Fesol.

Jun:

Sharul calls me Jun. Derived from "Junid".

I call her Surti.

Back in highschool, for some odd reason, my ex-girlfriend used to call me Johnny.

One day, Sharul decided to jawakan the nickname. She sent me a text message while I was lepaking at a friend's house:

"Johnny -> John -> Junid -> Jun"

So i replied:

"Sharulniza -> Sharul -> Surtie -> Su"

That was at least 3 years ago. It's amazing how a thing so trivial can last that long :).

Hey everyone, my name is Mr. Jun =D

Monday July 20th 2009

2009-07-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

The weather outside is really hot. Heck, not just outside, it's really hot here inside too.

It's 3.26PM. I have class at 4PM.

God give me strength.

*urghh*

MACC: Murderers?

2009-07-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

Maybe. Maybe they did kill him. It's definitely a maybe.

Wait. Hang on a minute.

Why would the government choose to kill a person who they publicly despise in such a controversial manner? A manner so controversial that it made people come up with theories linking his death to the federal government. People all over Malaysia are saying that his death was a government planned murder.

Wouldn't it be so much more easier to play safe and just cut the brake cables of his car? That way not that many people would come up with theories linking the federal government to his death? It'll be so much more easier to cover up. And! No one would be demanding the formation of a Royal Commission to investigate the "murder". Most people would just accept the fact that his death was caused by a" car accident".

Oh. Here's a thought. Maybe he did just accidentally fell off a window while trying to get some fresh air after 8 hours ( I think? ) of interrogation? Maybe he leaned his back on a window, not knowing that the window was unlocked? The window he fell out from is huge by the way. Anyone could have fallen out from it.

Why does everyone have to be so negative and hateful. It may just be an accident. Don't just simply accuse people of murder. It's a very serious accusation. Let the law take it's course.

Let me remind you that the doctors who conducted the post mortem on his body confirmed that his death was caused by injuries he sustained due to the fall. I think it's safe to say that we can probably rule out speculations that he was murdered and his body thrown out of a window to stage a suicide. Unless you want to accuse the result of the post mortem as a government conspiracy...

I support the formation of an independent Royal Commission though. That way everyone would be happy and no one would be shouting foul. Hopefully.

Let's all just hope that no one would accuse the Royal Commission of being just another government conspiracy too....( Nowadays everything is a government conspiracy eh? )

His death saddened many people including myself. I was heartbroken upon learning the fact that he left behind an unborn baby. Emotions are running high all over the country. I hope Ronnie Liu's throat is OK after one heck of a lot of shouting. Classy eh? Barging into a government office, kicking and screaming...nice to know that our EXCO's are sensible and very professional.

Lets all be very civilised here. Don't play blame games. It's not fair for anyone if everyone starts pointing fingers at one another.

May Teoh Beng Hock R.I.P

Was it a murder? Or was it an accident? Hold your judgements for now. It's too early to say anything. May the truth prevail soonish :)

* Writing this piece reminds me of a certain case about a person who was accused of sodomizing a young man. It's the second time he was brought to court to face allegations of committing sodomy. People say it's a government conspiracy.

Honestly people..why sodomy? Why would they use sodomy as a strategy to "kill off" this person's political career? Are you that stupid Mr. Government? No one would ever buy that crap.

Why would you falsely accuse a person of a crime he was acquitted off in the past for the second freaking time? It would be so much more easier to just accuse him of something that he wasn't accused of and subsequently acquitted from in the past. Every Tom Dick and Harry knows that.

BUT WAIT! Maybe...just maybe..the government isn't that stupid ( honestly, who is?) after all ?. Maybe there isn't any government conspiracy? Maybe he did commit the crime?

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. The truth will come out sooner or later :)

I just hope that people think using their logic and not their emotions. When emotions defeat logic, you tend to (and you will) lose so much.

21!!!!!

2009-07-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

I am 21 years old.

Week 4: Miss Manique Cooray, Mr. Felix Idrissa Bigirimana, Mr. Ahmad Aqeil.

2009-07-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

Week 4, Scene 1,Miss Manique Cooray:

7.30am: Woke up

7.40am: Showered

8.10am: Arrived in class

8.20am: "Faisal....what are you doing?" "You don't belong in this class do you?"

8.40am: "Faisal, I want to see you after class"

8.41am: *gulp*

9.00am:

"Faisal...what are you doing?"

"Sorry ma'am...I woke up late..."

"Faisal....you are way way behind...even behind my weakest students...you don't belong in that category of students...I have said what I needed to say. You do not belong with the weak students. Now it is up to you to change"

WHAM! That was all I needed to motivate me. "You don't belong in that category of students"...It's a wonder how a simple but honest statement from your lecturer can change you inside.

I know I will be snapped at angrily by Miss Manique many many more times this semester but I dont mind. It's for my own good. Thank you ma'am.

Week 4, Scene 2, Mr. Felix Idrissa Bigirimana:

7.30am: Woke up

7.45am: Showered

8.10am: Arrived in class

"Excuse me, what are you doing here? Are you sure you are in the right class?"

"Err..yes sir...I'm sorry I'm late"

"You have missed 4 classes...you cannot pass...I will not give you participation marks"

*GULP*

9.00am:

"Sir..I am sorry..."

"Why did you miss so many classes..."

"......."

"You are a good student....you cannot go on like this or your grades will suffer..."

"I know you are a good student....don't put that to waste...please study hard because only then can you succeed in life brother"

WHAM! "I know you are a good student"

That simple sentence made me want to study harder....I went back and I straight away opened my lecture notes and studied for 3 hours straight....and I haven't stopped studying on a regular basis since then.

Mr.Felix, thank you for those much needed words of encouragement. Honestly.

Week 4, Scene 3, Mr. Ahmad Aqeil:

5.00pm: "Sir...I'm sorry I missed so many classes"

5.00pm: "Why did you miss so many classes?"

5.01pm: "I've had some personal problems...I don't want to be in MMU"

* Mr.Aqeil gave a long speech about how to succeed in life, how I need to finish off my degree here in MMU. I told him I wanted to be a politician. He said politics is very hard.

"You need to be very smart". "So you need to study very hard. I told him I'm not THAT passionate about my law degree. I told him I liked political science. He straight away said "Look around you. Most of the politicians nowadays are lawyers". He gave Barack Obama as an example.

He said something along the line of no pain no gain. He told me a story about his friend, a medical student who studied under street lights because his family couldnt afford to pay high electricity bills. He told me his friend was focused and nothing distracted him from his goal.

"If a human being really focuses on something, there is nothing that he cannot do"

I could see the passion in his eyes, how much he wanted to lift me out from a dump and put me in a better place. I could see how hard he tried to convince me that I should stay focused, study hard and be a successful person.

Earlier he told the class: " I would very much like to see my students ending up as ministers...and saying things like, "Sir, please come and ride with me in my BMW".

He later said, "However, I would not like it so much if one day you say: "Sir, please come and ride with me in my Saga".

The whole class laughed.

5.17pm: "Do not worry about your attendance. I just hope I will see much change from you"

Thanks Mr.Aqeil for helping me. You're one cool lecturer.

The three scenes that happened above really motivated me. I'm gonna rock my world. Wish me luck :)

Najib Razak

2009-07-16T14:37:00.000+08:00

To be honest, I'm a supporter of UMNO. However, just because i support UMNO, it does not mean i support UMNO blindly. There are certain UMNO leaders that i loathe. However, I am a firm supporter of our Prime Minister.

People can say what they want about Datuk Seri Najib, but the fact is this ladies and gentleman: There are no strong evidence that can convict him of abetting with the murder of a certain Mongolian model.

People make up stories about people they don't like. My philosophy is simple. It's an ancient Roman philosophy if I'm not mistaken.

"Innocent until proven guilty". So, in accordance with that philosophy, in my opinion, Datuk Seri Najib is innocent of all accusations thrown against him by people who don't like him.

People may argue that the only reason Najib is not behind bars right now is because the Royal Malaysian Police is afraid of him. That reason seems to be very believable because well, he's the darn DPM (then) for god's sake. A very powerful man. And because of that, i think it's perfectly OK for people to accuse him of abetting with the murder of the Mongolian model. Because it's believable.

With all that being said, i want to ask you. How sure are you? Are you a hundred percent sure that he ordered the killing of the poor Mongolian model? Are you a hundred percent sure that the source where you got the "information" linking Najib to the murder is not telling lies?

Are you a hundred percent sure the source you got your information from got his source from a trustworthy person? If you are not sure or if you cannot come up with concrete evidence, by all means, give the dude a break.

He just passed his 100 days in office and things are looking pretty good. The man is clearly doing his job properly. It's high time we stop reading political shits that cannot be proven true.

Raja Petra Kamaruddin has yet to produce evidence. I've read somehwere that he's a bankrupt. Why oh why are you people relying on information from this man who has got zero credibility? Who is RPK? What has he done for the country?

Simple. The answer is nothing. He talks or more accurately writes a lot, blaming people there, accusing people here, generally complaining about oh so many things. Markings of a great man? Nope. More like the markings of a sad middle-aged bankrupt.

He is championed by the opposition just because he is on their side. Believe me, if RPK was on the government's side, the opposition will be asking everyone high and low about RPK's credibility.

Wake up Malaysia, before it's too late.

Durian

2009-07-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

Why the hell durian? Why not a name that actually means something? Like "youth of today" or "tree hugger"?

Well, let me tell you a thing or two about the horrendously ugly yet addictive and super tasty fruit called the durian.

You see, durians are loved in Malaysia,Indonesia,Singapore,some parts of Southern Thailand and...........the list stops there. It is loathed, hated and shunned upon in every other country on the face of planet earth. Most of the time, it's because of the smell.

Western durian haters labeled the fruit as foul smelling. Disgustingly revolting they would say. They even went as far as banning the darn fruit from their airports and their aeroplanes. A western reality TV show even made eating a darn ulas of durian a dare....it's either you chose to eat an ulas of durian or a pair of boiled bull testicles: some of them opted for the pair of divine tasting bovine balls.

You see, that's the beauty of this god-awful looking fruit. It looks just about as appetizing as a plate of deep fried bull balls on the outside.

BUT. Once you peeled off the thick outer layer of the fruit, you'll gain access to little ulases of heaven, in the form of yellow,creamy,moist and sweet "nuggets". Those westerners have absolutely no idea what they're missing on. Oh well, that probably means there will be more for us so im not complaining.

Durians to me, are also a symbol of racial harmony and cooperation between the races in Malaysia. Malays, Chinese,Indians and all the other races living in Malaysia loves to eat durian.

Loving to eat the fruit is one of the things all the races in Malaysia have in common.

Durian. A symbol of national unity and a 'lesson' which teaches us to not judge a book it's cover.

Those are the reasons why i chose durian as a nickname.

Hello =)

2009-07-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

idk wht to write.toodles.